9 Common Husband Behaviors That Drive Most Wives Up The Wall
The spouse irritants that drive wives the most crazy.
I love men, I do. I've been boy-crazy since my first love, Adam, in pre-school. But there are things about them that drive me mad. While these "issues" are somewhat grating on my nerves, the romantic in me — the part of me I hide away like a deep dark secret that no one should ever be privy — finds a beautifully endearing quality in their behavior, habits, and all-around lack of attention to detail... in some cases.
But since we're keeping my romantic side in the closet, let's cover my top 10 pet peeves about husbands or rather the men in my life whom I've adored with all-consuming, hopelessly, unapologetically deep love.
Here are 10 common husband behaviors that drive most wives up the wall:
1. They don't listen
I once heard that men only hear about 20% of what's being said, but based on my experience, it's about 40%. Research from the Radiological Society of North America shows that men use 50% of their brains while listening. Still, they miss a whole lot of what we say! Perhaps I'm boring, or maybe they just don't know how to listen properly. I'm thinking the latter.
2. They smell
Their bodies can smell good, but for some reason, their bedrooms and apartments just stink. Why? Are you working out that much?
3. They don't utilize a mirror properly
I love bedhead, so I'd never knock that. But if I had a penny for every time I had to tell a dude his lips are a dusty shade of pink because of toothpaste, I'd be sitting in a Park Avenue apartment right now.
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4. Their idea of 'clean' laundry is wonky
I've dated too many men who do the "smell test" to see if something's clean before they put it on — doesn't smell, they're wearing it.
5. They're bad with dates
As in, calendar dates. How many more times do I need to tell you when my birthday is? Do we need to go over this again?
6. They 'can't deal' with emotion
I'm a woman. I'm emotional. I probably, a lot of times, border on insane. And yeah, I'm going to cry and I'm going to make a scene, but the scene would be a lot less dramatic if they could just "deal" instead of clamming up.
7. The expiration date means nothing
Oh, the eggs have a date on them from two months ago? No worries, they'll eat them anyway.
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8. They say stuff we can't help but over-analyze
How much time have I wasted on a single sentence from a man? A lot. What did he mean? What was he trying to say? It could go on for days.
Whereas men, on average, just don't overanalyze the way we do and in turn, don't understand why we do so. But boy, do they say some insensitive stuff that causes us to overanalyze! And then they never apologize for it. Great.
9. They're darling, despite being so annoying
Curse you for being so darling with all your flaws and wonkiness! Curse you for making me love you even more despite all the trouble you give my brain and heart! Curse you, men and husbands — we love you.
Amanda Chatel is an essayist, lifestyle, and intimacy health writer with a focus on relationships, women's reproductive rights, and mental health. Her bylines have appeared in Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Livingly, Mic, The Bolde, Huffington Post, and others.