3 Common Beliefs About Love That Ruin Your Chance Of Finding It
There's more to love than happily ever after.
Yuriy Maksymiv /Shutterstock Everyone wants to fall in love and have the perfect relationship, and many movies and even stories make it seem like there are no mistakes when you're falling in love.
But having a healthy relationship is more than just meeting the right person — relationships require nurture, sacrifice, and work.
Falling in love is the easiest step — and it's only the beginning.
There are no fairytale endings with the perfect wedding, financial stability, and minimal arguments. The concept of a soulmate is distorted and destroys relationships that could have been much more.
Love and relationships take hard work and effort through ups and downs and inevitable changes in each other's lives.
Here are three common beliefs about love that ruin your chance of finding it:
1. Believing love is a fairytale
It is the most breathtaking and amazing feeling. But love can also be the most painful feeling you can experience.
Heartbreak can literally lead you to the point of feeling physically ill, like an elephant sitting on your chest and refusing to budge.
The preconceived notion that love has a fairy tale ending is wrong. You wouldn't experience such agony and sorrow from heartbreak because you'd know something better lies ahead.
But you don't know that in any relationship, which means leaving the health of your connection with your partner to fate is not a good idea.
Believing that everything will work out in the end without any effort on your part because love is a fairy tale will cloud your judgment about what love is and what it entails.
2. Believing love comes easy
As human beings, it is in your nature to grow and change throughout the entirety of your life span.
As a unit in your relationship, you have to adapt to those changes, which takes work. "Love conquers all" is one of the major beliefs many people have that can lead your relationship astray.
If that were true, divorce rates would be minimal and arguments between couples would be few and far between.
Love and relationships take time, work, and effort to keep them going and working in a positive manner.
Checking out of your relationship will lead to breakups and divorce.
3. Believing in the concept of a soulmate
People believe there is one perfect person for them and once they find that other person, they are "complete."
Soulmates rarely stay in your life, as they're here to teach you your highest potential in the hope of having a successful and happy relationship after.
They teach you your flaws, wrongs, and yes, your good qualities. Most importantly, however, they teach you how to love unconditionally.
There may be one person in the world that is perfect for you, but the belief that you will live to love your soulmate until 'death do you part' is usually wrong.
Some people experience the opposite, and more power to them. But the belief that one person is out there for you, who fits perfectly into your life can cause biased thinking.
At times, it might even lead to the avoidance of relationships with good people because you believe, "There may be someone better for me," or "This isn't my soulmate because we argue/don't agree all of the time."
The belief that your soulmate is one person and every other relationship is just "wrong" will sabotage and poison perfectly healthy relationships with your own destructive thinking.
After all, if you believe that your soulmate is still out there, why try to make the relationship work?
Change your beliefs and how you approach love and work at it each and every day.
Don't take it for granted thinking someone else is out there "waiting for you," or you might be unhappy in love for a very long time.
Brittney Lindstrom is a licensed professional counselor and certified rehabilitation counselor.