6 Behaviors Of Women Who Consistently Marry Quality Men, According To Psychology
Strategies smart women use to find the real deal.
Ivanko_Brnjakovic | Canva If you’re single and looking for long-lasting love, the best way to avoid the mind games men play is to date the way you want to mate. You teach people how to treat you from the moment you meet them. Turning away men who play games leaves the opportunity for a relationship-ready man to show up in your life.
Here are six behaviors of women who always marry quality men:
1. They practice slow love
It may sound counterintuitive but slowing down the dating process can speed up the time it takes to meet your soulmate. Most people date backward and give the benefit of the doubt to a stranger.
Don’t let feelings of attraction and chemistry cloud your judgment. Take red flags seriously and never excuse away mind games men play.
Don’t get swept up in the intense emotions of a new relationship. It’s important to see how he behaves when there’s conflict between you (not just when things are good).
Give yourself time to assess and evaluate if this new person is an ideal match for the long term. Taking it slow gives you a better chance of being vulnerable in the relationship, which is necessary to let love grow a study from 2022 confirms.
2. They date more than one person at a time
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You must gather enough data about yourself and the men you’re dating by going on dates with multiple people. Most people are combing through profiles looking for reasons to say “No” to a date with someone.
According to data from the Pew Research Center, 46% of Americans have used a dating app at one point. Your future partner might be one of them. Too short, wrong colored hair, or has no college degree. Any excuse to weed them out. Instead, look for reasons to say, “Yes” to a date. Stop creating barriers to meeting new people.
Every person you meet allows you to learn more about yourself, get a clear picture of what you want in a beloved partnership, and opportunities for you to be authentic and ask for what you want and need. By dating multiple people you’ll avoid investing your heart quickly in a man who seems too good to be true, avoiding men who play mind games.
3. They set clear boundaries
Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries develops strong self-respect and self-esteem, research from 2019 confirms. Lacking self-esteem will make you a target for the mind games men play.
You may ignore his manipulative behavior or have a false belief that you have to tolerate it. Respect is the healthy boundary that comes with real love.
Clarify your deal-breakers and keep all the promises you make to yourself. Use dating as a tool to cultivate discernment so you can deselect those who aren’t a good match for you. Show up authentically and express your desires.
Lasting love occurs when two whole and complete people come together to form a third entity: the relationship. When you set a boundary, you’re showing that you count and matter.
4. They actively make requests
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If there's something you need or want from your date make a request. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t ask. Communication is important in a relationship, especially early on, and can lead to greater relationship satisfaction research from 2021 confirms.
It may feel uncomfortable to speak your truth, but it’s worth the effort. Even if you don’t get what you want, you’ll feel better about yourself for speaking up.
The man who wants a relationship with you will want to know how to win your heart. By speaking up you’re letting him know how to please you. By making requests you’ll ensure that your needs are being met and that you're not being taken advantage of.
5. They respect themselves
A healthy, loving relationship with yourself is a key element to having a healthy, loving relationship with your beloved. To break the pattern of falling for the mind games men play, learn how to take a stand for yourself.
Respect yourself by not putting up with less than what you truly deserve. 2020 research shows that respecting yourself allows you to have higher confidence and self-esteem, which allows you to pick better partners.
Always remember you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness in a relationship. Don't tolerate behavior that makes you feel less than, not accepted, or criticized. The right partner will want you to feel good about yourself!
6. They cultivate positive energy
Your heart karma is created by the actions you take in your relationships. When you act out of integrity, you create the space for others to do the same.
Cultivate positive energy in your life by taking actions in alignment with your values. This will keep you from getting caught up in the mind games men play.
Clean up your past heart karma by practicing forgiveness with yourself and with those who’ve hurt you. Vow to do better in the future. Treat your dates with the respect they deserve and expect the same in return.
Remember, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself and your values. Don't compromise your boundaries or your self-respect for anyone. With the right mindset and strategies, you can avoid the mind games men play and build healthy, fulfilling relationships with a man who is worthy of your love.
Orna and Matthew Walters are dating coaches and founders of Creating Love On Purpose with a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks to love, and the authors of Getting It Right This Time.