11 Behaviors That Seem Forward But Are Actually Signs Of An Irresistibly Confident Woman
Men are undeniably attracted to a woman who makes the first move.
Sayo Garcia | Unsplash If there’s one thing I’ve been guilty of when I dated, it was looking desperate — primarily because I was desperate.
That being said, I’ve learned how to flirt with a guy without looking desperate over the years. Guys like girls who make the first move, and if you use these techniques, they’ll thank their lucky stars you were that bold.
Here are 10 behaviors that seem forward but are actually signs of an irresistibly confident woman:
1. Ask him for help, then compliment him on his skills
It does not matter what the thing you need help with is. Asking for help with anything, even if it’s something as dumb as finding the local milkshake store, will work as a spectacular icebreaker. It also allows you to give him the opportunity to show himself off, which will make him totally happy if he’s interested.
2. Make it very clear you’re checking him out using your eyes
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Guys can and will notice if you’re checking them out with a stare. To make this move work, eye him up until he notices, then quickly turn away and make a blushing gesture. More often than not, they’ll get the hint and talk to you.
While specific research on a woman checking out a man may be limited, general observations and theories about nonverbal cues and attraction can shed light on this behavior. Women may subtly show interest through increased attention, engaging in playful banter, and adjusting their appearance.
3. Reverse friend-zone him
Most guys get ticked about girls who seem flirty but just want to “be friends.” Turn this on its ear by approaching the guy you like as a friend... then slowly ramp up the heat.
4. Find a random excuse to get his number and chat with him.
“Yeah, I totally need your number since we’re now neighbors. Question, do you know any good bars around here?” Yes, it works like a charm, even if it’s cheesy.
While there isn't specific research on finding excuses to get someone's number, the underlying principles involve social cues, perceived interest, and the psychology of initiating interactions. UC Berkeley's Greater Good Magazine article explained that creating a sense of connection and rapport is essential for building a relationship. This can be achieved through active listening, asking open-ended questions, and sharing personal experiences.
5. If you legit want to see if he’s cool first, approach him in a warm, friendly manner
Don’t involve touching. Just converse with him as you would a gay friend. Rather, take your time to get a feel first, then slowly prolong eye contact and smile until he gets the hint.
6. Invite him for a movie night
Most guys will get the “Netflix and chill” vibe and be down for it. From there, make a point of not being the one who gets intimate first; make him work for it. If you really wanna be subtle, invite him to movie night with your friends and then, later on, invite him to a one-on-one deal.
Women's hesitancy to initiate intimacy stems from internalized traditional gender roles, societal expectations, and potential fear of negative consequences or misinterpretations rather than a lack of desire. Some research suggests that women may have evolved to be more selective about partners, which can lead to a reluctance to initiate intimacy.
7. Dance with him
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Guys love a girl who can dance. The funny thing about this is that most men will want to talk to a girl who’s clearly dancing and enjoying herself.
A girl who’s having a fun time is not a girl who is desperate — and yes, guys know that. After talking and laughing it up with others, invite the guy out on the dance floor and you’re good to go.
8. Compliment his hair or style
Most guys are always dying to hear a compliment. Most girls do not realize this, either. You actually telling them that they look good will make their week, showing them how to flirt with a guy without looking desperate, and will also get you a fast track to their hearts.
Women complimenting men, like any form of positive social interaction, can foster stronger relationships and boost self-esteem. A 2023 study concluded that compliments are positively correlated with relationship satisfaction. For compliments to be effective, they should be genuine and specific rather than generic or insincere.
9. Ask for his opinion on something and use that as an icebreaker
Most guys are “hip to the jive” on this one, and will be able to get the hint if you regularly ask for his opinion. A good way to get him talking is to ask him his opinion on women’s clothing or even something pop culture-related. Guys like showing their expertise, so this will melt most men’s hearts pretty quickly.
10. Seriously, just go for it
Most women do not look desperate unless they are flashing cash or begging guys to date them. As long as you aren't doing that, you should be able to flirt like a pro.
Men often find confident women who initiate contact and express affection attractive, viewing it as an indication of desirable traits like femininity. A 2022 study found that confidence is an essential personality trait with a positive impact in numerous contexts, such as subjective well-being, professional success, or mental health.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.