6 Behaviors Guaranteed To Immediately Scare Men Away
Here's how you scare him away before he gets to know you.
QwazzMe Photo | Getty Images Signature / Odua Images So, you're dating a guy and it's the crucial first few weeks. You really like this guy, and you're wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.
The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away every single time. Don't sabotage a potentially great relationship that could have gone somewhere by scaring a man off right at the beginning.
Here are 6 behaviors guaranteed to immediately scare men away:
1. You trash-talk your ex-boyfriend
I don't care if you're on your first date or on your fifteenth date with a guy — don't ever trash-talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because when you do this, a guy thinks that if he ever becomes your ex, you'll trash-talk him the same way.
When a man asks you about your ex, the only thing you should say is, "We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot." That's it.
2. You let your paranoia run rampant
You're dating a man you really like and the first couple weeks are cruising along really well. Then, that first boys' night out happens. You start out as the cool woman and send him a text before he goes that says "Have a great time tonight!" But as the night progresses, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he's doing, and you start to think, "Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?"
You send him another text asking, "What's going on? What are you doing right now?" Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder and start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away about as quickly as anything.
3. You speak poorly about other women
A huge mistake women make is trash-talking other women in front of the man they're dating. For example, you're out with him when a woman walks by wearing a skimpy short skirt. What do you do? You say, "Look how ugly that woman looks! I can't believe she's going around in public like that."
What you're doing when you make comments like this is telling him that you aren't confident in the way you look. It tells him that you don't love who you are and haven't embraced your own body. You're planting a seed of doubt in him, causing him to wonder if he should date someone else who's more confident.
4. You fish for compliments
This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here's a typical scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says, "You really look beautiful tonight." Ten minutes later you look at him and ask, "How do I look tonight?" Another typical scenario is where you tell a guy you really like him, to which he responds by smiling and giving you a nice little hug and kiss. Ten minutes later you ask him, "Well, do you like me, too?"
A lot of women will constantly do things like this. Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we feel it. If we don't feel it at the exact moment you've expressed a feeling to us, just accept it and be okay with that. Remember, a compliment should be said with no strings attached.
5. You act clingy and possessive
When a man goes out with his friends, allow him to go out with his friends. You don't need to do everything together. You're still getting to know him! If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't have to be joined at the hip.
If you're going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be on top of him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, don't immediately run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug. When you're clingy, we're going to want to get rid of you very quickly.
6. You push your friends on him way too soon
Women will be hanging out with a guy on the first or second date and say to him, "Oh my God, you HAVE to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also have to meet my friends Phil and Anne. They're such a great couple and you'll love them." A man hears this and thinks, "I don't even know you yet. Can I get to know you for a month or two before I have to go meet all your friends?!"
We don't want to be "the boyfriend" right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what you're all about. Believe me, once we get to like you and get to know you we will be more than willing to get to know all of your friends.
David Wygant is a dating coach who spent the past 20 years helping men and women transform their love lives. As a lead writer for Ask Men and Huffington Post, his advice has been offered across television, newspapers, and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, E! Entertainment Television, and more.