Are You Relationship Ready? 3 Little Signs You're Finally Open To Love
You could be the reason you find relationships unhappy and unfulfilling.
Karsten Winegeart | Unsplash Are you ready for the lover of your dreams to walk into your life? Are you sure?
Many women think they are ready for a relationship, but within a few weeks or months of being with someone, they realize they aren't as ready as they thought.
Here are 3 little signs you're finally open to love:
1. Have you let go of the past?
If you have dated more than one person, chances are you've had your heart broken. Often, this experience creates emotional trauma, so it is hard to let go of that hurt. As a result of holding onto the hurt, we go into a protection mode and often don't allow ourselves to open up as much.
Unfortunately, holding onto the past may keep us from being hurt again, but it gets in the way of us having what we want.
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2. Do you have a positive attitude?
When you talk about dating and relationships, what words do you use? Do you say, "People don't know how to treat me," "They only care about physical intimacy," or "All the good people are taken"? Or do you have an optimistic attitude?
I'll be the first to admit there are a lot of people who are emotionally immature and are only interested in one thing. If you talk to any person looking for a relationship, they will tell you it is frustrating and challenging to find a suitable person to share their life with.
Very often, a person's attitude about dating comes from their upbringing. If you had parents who treated you and their spouse with love and respect, you probably grew up with a healthy attitude about relationships.
If you grew up in a household where the parents were disrespectful or abusive toward each other or one of them was not present, it is common for the child to develop negative beliefs about relationships. These beliefs often prevent you from having the relationship you desire.
3. Are you putting yourself out there?
Often, I hear women say how hard it is to meet people worth dating. When I ask what they are doing to meet them, they say, "Nothing." Sometimes, they try online dating or going to a single event. But after one or two disappointments, they give up.
Being ready for a relationship is similar to a cake being ready for the icing. When the icing is applied to a properly baked cake, the product is incredible. If the cake isn't properly baked, the icing may improve it a little, but it won't taste good.
Think of a lover as the icing on your life. If you are a well-prepared cake on your own, a suitable partner makes the cake even better. Here's the key. Without the icing, the cake is delicious on its own.
You could have the greatest lover in the world, but if you aren't ready for them, your relationship will not give you what you desire.
Unfortunately, this is true for many people. They think their prayers will be answered, and they will live happily ever after if they have a partner. Usually, within a few months of starting a relationship, they often find they are not as happy as they thought they'd be.
Why? Because a lover can not make you happy, but they can make you happier. Just like the icing enhances a good cake a suitable partner enhances your life. But the lover can't be the source of your happiness.
If you take the icing away from the cake, it would still be satisfying.
The key to creating a good relationship is to be emotionally available for a suitable lover. Just as the cake has to be ready for the icing, you need to be ready to be loved.
Dating can be very frustrating, especially if you don't know how.
You can join a gym, but that doesn't mean you will get in shape. You can join an online dating site, but that doesn't mean you will meet Mx. Right? You can go to a single event, but that doesn't mean the type of person you're looking for will be there. So, what to do?
As human beings, we often want the magic pill, the quick fix, and instant results. But in life, the things we want do not happen magically overnight. Nowhere is this truer than in dating.
The good news is there are things you can do to make dating easier and more enjoyable and increase your chances of finding the love you are looking for. The key is to know which actions to take. That is what smart dating is.
Take a good look at the three signs. If you have answered "no" to any of them, there is a strong indication you are not ready for a relationship. If this is true, do not judge yourself. Notice it and do what you must to ensure you answer "Yes" for each one.
When you can answer "Yes" to each, you will be ready for that special someone to walk into your life, and when they do, you will have the relationship you always wanted...the kind you deserve.
Joe Amoia is the founder and creator of GPS For Love. He is an International dating and relationship expert who specializes in helping single women navigate the complex world of men, dating, and relationships.