You'll Never Get Over A Break-Up If You Don't Quit These 2 Toxic Behaviors
The realistic ways to get over heartbreak.
matrixnis | Canva In the aftermath of breaking up comes feelings of sadness, regret, isolation, loneliness, and an overall sense of pain. At this point, you're desperate to figure out how to get over someone so you can move on and heal your broken heart. Since our instinct is to avoid pain, getting over a breakup can lead to developing beliefs and habits designed to protect you. But, in the long run, your heartbreak gives you a disservice. In the aftermath of a breakup, be aware of 2 negative thought patterns that can bring you down.
Here are 2 behaviors that stop you from getting over a breakup:
1. Avoidance
This is where you get into thinking things like "All men are the same," "All the good guys are taken," or "All guys are creeps." These thoughts give you the excuse to avoid dating, thus avoiding any chance of getting involved in another relationship which might lead you to heartbreak. The result is isolation and loneliness.
2. Self-blame
Another dangerous turn to take is down the road of beating yourself up. You may try to justify the breakup by unnecessarily holding yourself accountable by finding some flaw in yourself that you believe turns him off. These thoughts kill your sense of self-worth and keep you feeling insecure. But, by avoiding these thoughts, you can evaluate your lost relationship and grow from it. Instead, here are 3 simple but genius actions that will get you out of the rut of feeling rejected.
Here are 3 simple ways to get over your ex:
1. Remember the reasons why you broke up
When getting over someone, create a list of all the things you didn't like about your ex. Think of things in his attitude that bothered you or in some ways that he didn't treat you as you would have preferred. Focus on all that was wrong in the relationship. This will help avoid falling into the feelings of lost romance you experienced while in the relationship.
2. Create a list of your best qualities
If you're feeling low and having trouble getting over it, ask your close friends or family members to share what they think are your best qualities. Don't dismiss what they say by thinking they're only saying those things to be nice. Who are you to make a judgment about their intentions? In general, people don't give others compliments because their intention is simply to make them feel better. Think about it. Do you?
3. Don't regret the relationship
There are no mistakes. Yes, you heard me right. Think of it this way: A mistake is an experience in your life that helps you remember more of who you are. Now is your opportunity to get clear on your identity and build your sense of self-worth. Take time to invest in yourself. Chances are, part of you got lost in the relationship, and that is why it failed. You deserve nothing but the best of what love has to offer. Take time now to fall in love with yourself.
Now that you're aware of how to get over a breakup, it's time to take charge of your healing. The truth is, a better relationship will come. So don't look back. Getting over an ex is difficult but the heartbreak won't last and you'll experience brighter days ahead. New opportunities for you to grow and form new relationships will develop if you are open to them. So don't hide in your sorrow. Be fearless and embrace the change.
Craig Neilson is a Professional Coach, Speaker, and Educator who supports clients via his company My Internal Image.