Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Skipping Her Friend's Bridal Shower After She Was Disinvited To The Wedding
She's still working through the shock of being uninvited.
Faruk Tokluoglu / CanvaPro Wedding planning is never easy. It’s a stress-filled time when the engaged couple’s life revolves solely around food catering, decorations, and guest lists.
One woman on Reddit found herself right in the center of an engaged couple’s stress, and ultimately lost her invite to their wedding and was ousted as a member of their bridal party.
After spending months getting excited and prepping for her best friend’s wedding, a simple text from the bride changed everything and she was left wondering how to navigate the weeks that followed.
After being unexpectedly disinvited from her friend’s wedding and ousted as a bridesmaid, a woman is debating skipping the bridal shower.
At the beginning of her post, the woman admitted that she had connections with a lot of people in the bride’s wedding party and they’re all “a big group of friends” that have known each other for years. Even the bride and groom met in the group.
One of the men in the group is a previous ex-boyfriend of hers, one that she dated “seriously” for over five years. “We split amicably back in February… He and I had never fought through the entire relationship and break up,” she admitted. “We see each other quite often because we share the same friends... it’s never been an issue.”
Despite a spirit of friendship and an amicable breakup, the pair had their first fight a couple of weeks ago. Although they made up quite quickly, the bride had some serious concerns over how they’d behave at the wedding after she found out.
After the bride learned she’d fought with her ex-boyfriend, a fellow groomsman and the wedding officiant, she disinvited her.
“This all happened in private,” the Reddit woman said about their fight, “but of course we talked to our friends about it, so they knew.”
She shared empathy for the bride, who was “having a lot of anxiety about [them] at the wedding and worried that something between [them would] come up.” However, the woman said the bride never reached out to her directly to ask about the fight or talk about how they resolved things.
Photo: DAPA Images / Canva Pro
Instead, she handled the “tricky situation” by sending her a text to uninvite her from the wedding and revoke her invitation to be a bridesmaid.
The bride worried the ex-couple would bring drama to the wedding, but the ex-boyfriend wasn't asked to stay home on the wedding day.
“She ended [the text] with ‘I love you, you’re one of my closest friends, I just have to think about me and my wedding right now’... I can’t help but feel hurt that she doesn’t trust me as a friend to be there 100% for her wedding day.”
The woman from Reddit responded to comments about her ex-boyfriend in an update on the post, admitting that the ex was still invited to the wedding and was going to be officiating it. In an effort to escape the wedding drama, the bride had to make a choice and made it clear that the ex-boyfriend deserved a place at the wedding more than her.
“He said we are good, as far as he’s concerned. He’s not a petty person and I believe him that he didn’t play a hand in any of this.”
While she’s been grappling with anger and confusion over the interaction with her close friend, the bridal shower was quickly approaching. While the bride made it clear she still wanted her friend there, she said she was considering skipping it.
“I just really don’t want to spend money on a gift after this… especially when I feel like I’ve already put a lot into this friendship that I’m not getting back out.”
Every choice has a consequence — and that includes this woman not attending the bridal shower.
“You owe her nothing,” one commenter said, “and I suggest you create some space from her.” Others suggested the bride was just trying to milk gifts from the woman, saying you, “can’t have it both ways” if you want someone to come to the bridal shower but not the wedding.
So, while magical weddings are painted up to be the best day of your life, the truth is they’re stressful. Sometimes that means brides and grooms-to-be make questionable decisions.
But, as with everything, choices have consequences and this bride's choice to disinvite her close friend from the wedding will have a ripple effect that will likely impact their friendship.
Photo: Traci Beattie / Canva Pro
While it might’ve hurt this woman’s feelings, ultimately that was the choice this couple made. Conversely, this woman gets to make a similar choice when she saves her money on a wedding gift for the shower.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture and human interest stories.