Woman ‘Refuses’ Her Husband’s Request For A Divorce Over Their Lack Of Physical Intimacy — Offers A Solution That Involves Her Friend
He was honest about validating her identity, while still advocating her his own needs.
YuriArcus / CanvaPro Intimacy is important in relationships — especially long-term ones. It cultivates closeness between partners, enhances communication, and increases confidence and connection.
Unfortunately, for many couples, intimacy can dwindle as the years pass. One husband was forced to confront the reality of losing marital intimacy after his wife realized she was “asexual.”
In a Reddit post, he confessed that sex and physical intimacy were necessary for him “with the person he loves.” However, after requesting a divorce, his wife tried to brainstorm another solution — not ready to give up the emotional and romantic connection she felt with him.
After requesting a divorce due to a lack of physical intimacy, his wife ‘refused’ and offered an unconventional solution involving her friend.
“I couldn’t believe things would get this far… This feels like a trick and I just want the whole thing to be over.”
After 4 years of marriage, this 34-year-old husband said his relationship felt healthy — “fantastic,” even. Up until the past year, he’d been happy, until things “began to deteriorate” with their connection.
“There was a significant drop in sex between us, not [emotional] intimacy, just the actual sex part of the relationship. We would still cuddle and have deep intimate moments talking… but she would reject my attempts at taking things further.”
His wife realized she was ‘asexual,’ so, he decided divorce was the best option.
When both couples are looking to mend the consequences of a sexless marriage where both partners value physical intimacy, sex therapy can be a great solution. Not only does it help to facilitate healthy conversations about partner needs, but it can rekindle a new passion for physical intimacy.
It was something that this couple tried multiple times through various therapists, alongside different potential solutions. “We both made sure to stay in shape, tried being more adventurous, went to couples therapy/counseling, and even tested both our hormone levels… each “solution” would work for a little, then we’d be back.”
Things came to a head, however, when his wife made a startling confession during therapy. “She tells me that she’s asexual and that’s the reason for her libido being non-existence.”
“I was definitely confused,” he said, “we had such great sex for a while, in the beginning of our relationship. She’s now ‘asexual,’ and that’s heartbreaking for me. Obviously, I’m not going to force her to have sex, so we had a long conversation about our relationship… I came to the conclusion that I needed a divorce.”
Of course, each couple is unique in their own right, but physical intimacy can be incredibly important, if not the most important piece, in a successful marriage. Without it, it’s valid for this man to have suggested a divorce. It was an integral piece of their relationship that wasn’t going to be met.
After filing for divorce his wife refused to agree to the split — ‘I just want this whole thing to be over.’
Still emotionally and romantically invested in their marriage, the thought of divorce felt unimaginable for his wife, but after openly communicating his needs, it felt unavoidable.
“She immediately rejected the idea and said we would figure something out… I didn’t know what to say, but dropped it for now,” he said.
“Three weeks go by and I decided that I have to do this for my own mental well-being. So, I filed for divorce and had her served with papers.”
Photo: Zinkevych / Canva Pro
Still in love with her, he tried to make things relatively easy and comfortable for his wife — suggesting that they split their savings, allowing her to keep the house, and take the majority of their cars. “She flat out said, ‘We are not getting a divorce.’ She won’t budge or talk about the divorce.”
His wife proposed he start sleeping with her friend to fulfill his physical intimacy needs.
After coming home from work a couple of days later, he walked into his bedroom to find his wife’s friend laid out on the bed — completely naked. “She said that she was here for me,” he said. “I put two and two together…and said I wasn’t having sex with another woman in place of the one I chose to marry.”
Photo: Prostock-Studio / CanvaPro
Feeling like several key details were missing from the scene in the bedroom, he turned to his wife for clarity. “She was adamant on saying I could sleep with her… that the friend agreed. I couldn’t believe things would get this far.”
After leaving with a bag packed for a hotel, he said he had gotten several calls from his wife — along with several of her family members — but “isn’t interested in what they have to say.” After everything they’d been through, he thought she would be understanding and respectful of his decisions, or at the very least discuss her potential “friend solution” before putting him in a compromising situation.
“A fresh start doesn’t scare me at all,” he later admitted in an update to the post. “I don’t think she should be punished for finding out who she is.”
Despite everything that happened, communication was essential and it was absent on the part of the wife. She was so desperate to keep her relationship intact that she compromised her husband's trust by not discussing her solution with him.
While it might’ve been the perfect scenario for one couple, this man was ready for a new start, where he could get his needs met in the way he wanted.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.