Woman Finds Out Her Husband Went On A 'Last Date' With His Ex The Week Before They Were Getting Married To Make Sure He Was Making The Right Decision
She was shocked to find out that her husband had kept the secret of his last night with his ex for years before it was finally revealed.
fizkes from Getty Images | Canva Teams The phenomenon of getting "cold feet" before walking down the aisle is an incredibly common and relatively normal occurrence. However, those pre-wedding jitters aren't usually anything to be concerned about — doubts are just a normal part of any major life decision.
While that's the case for most couples, it didn't seem to be for one woman, who explained in a post to the subreddit r/AITAH that she was shocked and disappointed to find out that her now-husband's pre-wedding jitters led him right into the arms of his ex-girlfriend just mere days before they were set to be married.
The woman learned that her husband went on a 'last date' with his ex the week before their wedding.
"His ex was always 'the one who got away,' according to everyone around him. He ended things because he didn’t see a future with her, but everyone around him was shocked because she’s so good and beautiful," she began in her Reddit post.
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She explained that they met shortly after her husband and his ex broke up. Despite their relationship being significantly different from the one with his ex, she soon learned that his family preferred his ex over her.
It was so bad that some family members called her by his ex's name, Camilla.
Her husband never gave her any reason to doubt that he loved her and wanted to be with her; he even made sure to let his family know that despite what they thought, he was positive that she was "the one" and wouldn't appreciate or stand for any disrespectful remarks made about her.
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"He told me he loved me a few months into our relationship, and I never felt like he was lying or that I wasn’t enough. He is fully aware of what people think about him leaving his ex and he gave the impression that he thought they were silly and childish. He told his mom that I am who he chose, and if she wanted a part of it, she needed to clean up her act," she continued.
She and her husband were married about three years ago, and only recently did she find out that his chapter with his ex-girlfriend wasn't properly closed — at least, it seemed like that on his end.
She discovered that a few days before their wedding, he went on a date with his ex to ensure she wasn't the "one that got away," as everyone assumed.
The husband claimed he wanted to be 100% sure he was making the right decision.
"He said that he got cold feet. He was panicking about why nobody saw what he saw. He showed me texts from his family and friends until our wedding of people asking him why he was doing this and if he really was sure," she recalled.
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He admitted that the date had been dinner and wine, but the second he sat across the table from her, he realized it was a mistake but didn't want to just up and leave after being the one to reach out to her.
His wife only heard about the date after his mom "gleefully" announced it after coming over to see their newborn daughter. She commented on what her son's life would've looked like if he'd changed his mind after the date he'd gone on with his ex.
Pre-wedding jitters are normal, but reaching out to an ex is not how to handle cold feet.
Jocelyn Charnas, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City, told Brides, "A healthy dose of uncertainty and anxiety can mean we are taking this decision very, very seriously, as it should be taken." She added, "If we aren’t nervous before a big job interview, that could be a signal that we’re not all that invested in getting the job. I think about marriage in the same way; we should be a bit nervous, we should exercise critical thinking, we should explore it from all angles."
So, while it's normal to have cold feet and pre-wedding jitters, there really should be no reason to feel that you need closure with your ex in the form of a "last date."
The problem was he turned to his ex instead of turning to his partner when he felt scared. Which, as Charnas also noted, is integral to healthy cold feet versus unhealthy pre-marriage anxiety.
Marriage should be built on trust and communication, and instead, it started with an omission of the truth.
She admitted that she and her husband are far from repairing this damage, but sees the two of them going to therapy sometime in the future to really work through these issues and hopefully come to an understanding that can heal their relationship.
Regardless of the outcome, her husband has some serious making up to do if he wants to express his remorse for a decision made in haste.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.