Woman Ends A 40-Year Friendship With Her Childhood Best Friend After She Disowns Her Trans Son
She couldn’t watch her friend degrade and dehumanize her own child.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock Few things can get in the way of a 40-year-long friendship. Transphobia is one of them.
When one woman on Reddit noticed her childhood friend's lack of love and acceptance for her transgender son, the woman's empathy overtook any loyalty she had, leading her to promptly end their long-held friendship.
The woman ended a 40-year friendship with her childhood best friend after she disowned her trans son.
In a since-deleted Reddit post, the woman explained that she and her former best friend are both 50 and have been close friends since they were 10. Her friend has a 20-year-old trans son, who goes by Scott.
The woman recently called her friend to wish her a happy birthday and catch up. In doing so, she learned some heartbreaking news.
Yiorgos GR | Shutterstock
Her friend shared that her child is now "identifying as a man, taking testosterone, and living with his dad, whom she hates." Sadly, her friend has been far from supportive of her child, refusing to accept him as "trans or even gay."
The woman admitted that she and her friend are Generation X and grew up in a predominantly red state. About 10 years ago, she moved to a state that aligned more closely with her liberal views. When talking to her friend, who remained in their home state, she was shocked to discover how judgmental and cruel her beliefs were, especially surrounding her own child.
When talking on the phone, her friend "started spewing the most hateful, MAGA-filled vitriol I’ve ever heard about gay and trans people,” the woman relayed with horror. “Said her daughter was groomed. Doesn’t believe people are born gay or trans. Mocked LGBTQ people. She wouldn’t care if her son dies.”
The woman struggled to advocate for the trans community while attempting to not upset her friend on her birthday. However, once she discovered the depth of her friend’s beliefs, she couldn’t remain silent.
“I asked if she loves her child. She said no,” the woman revealed. “She said things akin to her child being a waste of time invested. I wish I could explain her tone. It was so hard, bitter, filled with actual hate and malice.”
The woman called her friend out for her bigoted and transphobic views, defending Scott.
The woman countered her friend’s argument by providing research-based information about how homosexuality and transsexuality are, in fact, biological. Still, her friend wasn't moved.
“Her reaction was that she doesn’t care," the woman wrote. "She confirmed that the only reason she hates her child is because he is trans. That’s the only thing and it made her turn on him and dehumanize him."
“I couldn’t take it anymore, and I couldn’t let her think she gets to feel comfortable telling me this,” she added. The woman began crying on the phone after hearing her friend cruelly degrade her own son for his identity.
Discovering your child wishes to change their gender identity is certainly challenging for parents to understand and accept, however, it does not justify their decision to invalidate or disown their child.
The Human Rights Campaign advises parents of transgender children to support their kids by using their chosen names and pronouns, advocating for them, calling out transphobia, and educating themselves about the concerns facing transgender individuals. Most importantly, parents should love their children unconditionally — something this mom is clearly failing to do.
When the Reddit poster exhibited empathy and compassion for Scott, her friend screamed at her, claiming she could say whatever she wanted about her “daughter.” The woman, having had enough of her friend’s transphobia, yelled right back.
“I said, ‘I don’t care if it’s the guy on the corner flying a sign, you’re being awful and dehumanizing and disgusting! About your own kid! Who do you think you’re talking to?’ I hung up and blocked her,” the woman recounted. “I don’t know what to do. My heart hurts so much.”
The woman was desperate to get in touch with Scott and take action, but she didn’t have Scott’s or his dad’s contact information, and she couldn’t find them on social media.
The woman later updated her post to confirm how much love and support Scott is surrounded by.
After Reddit users suggested she connect with mutual friends on social media, the woman was able to get in contact with an old acquaintance who updated her on Scott’s well-being. She blissfully discovered he is “living his best life” since separating from his mom.
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“[She] told me she saw Scott last week, and he is HAPPY,” the woman revealed. “The best part is that Scott’s dad, his grandparents, and everyone but my ex-friend are supportive and on his side. I’m so grateful Scott has a circle of love and support around him.”
The woman asked their mutual friend if she could pass along a message to Scott, letting him know he has her unconditional support and he is welcome to visit and stay with her if he ever craves a getaway.
Ultimately, while the pain of losing your oldest friend is certainly hard, the pain of witnessing a mom’s hatred for her innocent child is far more disheartening. Reddit users admired the woman for refusing to stay silent in the face of injustice and taking action to show her love and acceptance for Scott.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.