Woman Can't Forgive Her Husband For Leaving Their Wedding Ceremony Early
She feels traumatized and he told her to get over it.
IVASHstudio / Shutterstock Your wedding day is meant to be one of the happiest days of your life — a celebration of your and your partner's love and commitment. Unfortunately for one bride, it turned into anything but, thanks to her new husband’s decisions on that day.
Months after their wedding, the woman admitted on Reddit that she is unsure if she will ever be able to forgive him, and asked for advice on how she should move forward.
The woman said that her husband left their wedding day early so that he could visit his family without her.
The 30-year-old woman revealed that she has been married for nearly three months. However, she feels traumatized and is unable to shake the disrespectful way that her 29-year-old husband treated her on their wedding day.
“For context, we are both from a South Asian background and I was not accepted by my husband’s mother because I’m older than him and she wanted him to marry someone much younger,” the woman wrote. “For two years we both struggled to get her to accept [our relationship] because my parents refused to give me away to a family that disapproved of me.”
Although they were finally able to marry one another, the woman’s husband continuously allowed his mother to boss him around. The bride-to-be raised her concerns about her husband very clearly being a “momma’s boy” while they were dating and during their engagement.
“My husband would deny it every single time I would bring the topic up," the woman wrote. "I said to him if he can’t be a strong individual who can make his decisions as a man and as a couple I cannot marry you."
The woman’s husband claimed that he did not let his mother control him and that he was determined to assert his independence from her once they were married.
Photo: Shravan K Acharya / Unsplash
On their wedding day, after the ceremony, they returned to the woman’s house to continue the festivities with both their families. However, she discovered that her new husband and his family had arranged their own plans — without her.
“His mum said we will not be able to stay more than an hour as we are visiting some friends today so we need to go,” the woman shared. "I called my husband outside and I told him I have spent at least over £1,000 on decoration ... and that it’s our wedding day. You can’t just leave like that, you’re meant to be here till late.” The woman’s husband dismissed her and merely responded with, “Okay.”
After cutting the cake and taking some photos, the woman noticed that her mother-in-law had “tears in her eyes” since she did not want to leave and visit more of their family without her son. “Their mood was very down,” the woman wrote.
Eventually, the woman’s husband declared that the wedding was over and that he would be going with his family instead of spending their first night together as husband and wife.
“I went inside and I started bawling my eyes out and he hugged me and followed his family out,” the woman wrote. “I was so embarrassed. My cousins, my aunties, my uncles all gathered around me wiping my tears.”
The woman was then forced to open all of the wedding gifts on her own.
Nearly three months after the wedding, the woman is unsure if she will ever be able to forgive her husband.
“I think that if we had not tied the knot I would’ve left him forever on that day but I couldn’t because he was my husband at that point,” the woman confessed.
Photo: Bulbul Ahmed / Unsplash
Since their wedding day, the woman shared that she has cried at least twice a week looking back on the hurtful incident. Her husband recently snapped at her, insisting that she get over it since he is tired of consoling her.
“I am writing this because I don’t know if enough time has passed for me to forgive him ... because in my heart I feel I can never forgive him for this,” the woman wrote. “I wanted to leave him right after but I love him too much.”
Most people validated the woman’s frustration, with some encouraging her to divorce her husband.
Many shared concerns that the behavior he demonstrated on their wedding day would only continue to persist in their marriage.
“This man does not respect you, and your love will never be reciprocated. He left your wedding!!!!! It doesn't matter how small the party was. He left!” one Redditor commented.
“Annul the marriage if you can. This is a sham marriage," another user insisted. "Your hopefully soon-to-be ex is not ready for a mature and loving commitment to a life partner.”
“All it takes is for his mother to snap her fingers and you're left alone. Will you put yourself first? Or will you be his family's rug?” another user pointed out.
On your wedding day, the spotlight should be on you, your partner and your loving commitment to one another — not on the groom's mother.
Newlyweds deserve to be showered with love and affection and have not only their guest’s attention but, more importantly, the attention of each other for the entire occasion.
Throughout the day, make an effort to be present and engaged with your partner and show genuine interest in their feelings and experiences. Even amid the festivities, it is vital to create opportunities for quiet moments together, such as stepping outside or finding a secluded spot to reflect on the day.
Definitely do not run off with your mother before the night is even over.
In the end, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment together. It’s a day that you’re both going to remember for the rest of your lives, so make sure to put your partner above anyone or anything else. You’re going to want to cherish these memories and look back with fondness, not regret.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.