Why Some Women Only Attract Men With Wives And Girlfriends
The aftermath never feels good when you find out he is in a committed relationship.
Dean Drobot | Canva Do you seem to attract guys who always have girlfriends or wives? In other words, are you always the mistress? If so, it could be that, inadvertently, you are sending out signals that are only picked up by those who are committed to others. You don't realize what your actions and body language are saying.
Now, why would a man who is in a loving and committed relationship blatantly go out to pick up another woman? Thanks to the married men and the scandalous boys I have met through my travels and studies my conclusions may provide some insight.
Married men or those with girlfriends will have a high propensity for cheating and philandering with other women if they are looking for new excitement. They still love the woman back home, but these men want something new to chase. They think they are hunters, and that mentality leads them to infidelity. But many men do not act like hunters, especially if they are satisfied with their leading lady back home.
When the ring is on the finger and the soon-to-be "other" woman sees it clearly, she should not even take the breath to flirt with this man. Not unless he has some connection that is going to further her career or if she only wants a free drink. Keep moving on. He is not going to leave his wife.
It is even worse for men who are chasing who have girlfriends because there is no visible sign they are taken. Mentally, they have allowed themselves this freedom to be wild because they do not have anything physically to prove they are committed to someone else. The "I'm only taken when she's around" philosophy becomes the mantra.
Have you noticed it's common when you go out just to be with your friends, not all dressed and made up, you tend to attract more men? This is because some men can sense desperation.
A woman's neediness is more than apparent, and if he is looking for a one-night stand you are the first person he is going to come up to. Sure it's flattering — you are getting attention and free drinks! — but the aftermath never feels good when you find out he is in a committed relationship.
I have developed my "bad underwear" theory. When you wear ugly underwear, you do not expect to go home with anybody but yourself. When you have an "I don't care about finding a man" aura, you are more attractive and intriguing to the male species. Thus, they want you for you and not just a quickie.
If your self-esteem is low, it shows. Men know that women with low self-esteem are easy to get into the bedroom and take advantage of mentally and physically. These women are easy targets for a one-night stand.
A number one rule for women to learn and understand in life is you can't change a man. Yes, he is thrilled to spend time with you. And if he is older, you most likely make him feel young again. As much fun as this is, you cannot convince this man to leave his wife or girlfriend.
Another red flag is men who keep reiterating the same point that they are going to leave their wives or girlfriends. But if you keep seeing him, there's no reason for him to leave his other half. As hard as it may be, don't wait around for this man.
Physical intimacy also plays a key role. If he is not getting any action from his habitual lady, he will look elsewhere. But just because he says he isn't sleeping with his wife doesn't mean that's true. You can't trust anything a cheater says because his actions are already speaking louder than his words.
New Africa via Shutterstock
The characteristics of the mistress are usually the same. The mistress is a pretty, fun, and successful girl. She is a joy to be around, while he has a martini-drinking, stress-inducing woman back home. When he's with you his problems back at home fade away.
As soon as you find out there is someone else in your life, move on. What if he was your boyfriend and doing this to you? If he cheats on his girlfriend, more than likely it's not going to be hard for him to cheat again.
And even if he leaves his partner to be with you, somewhere in your mind you must always wonder if he will do it to you, too. And if so, this time you will be the one hurting. The mistress rarely wins.
Kimberly James is a dating expert who has been involved in the event marketing and dating industry for 15 years. She has integrated her clients into tastemaker events such as the Sundance Film Festival, MTV Music Awards, the Academy Awards, Food & Wine Festival, and hundreds more. Telina McCord has always had a passion for exploring, analyzing, and reporting on human relationships. Fascinated by the world of dating she wrote her entire Master's thesis on The Evolution of Dating and became The Girl Who Dated 30 Guys in 30 Days.