Why The Men You Like Don't Like You
The energy you give off makes all the difference.
studioroman | Canva One of the world's great mysteries for many women is why the guys they like don't like them back. It would be statistically impossible to be true that every time you liked someone, they didn't like you.
So, what's going on here? Why does it feel like that? I've found that the answer typically lies in reasons related to the energy women give the men they're interested in.
Why the men you like don't like you
The most common reason the guys a woman likes don't like her in return is that she is giving off more masculine than feminine energy. Everyone possesses both male and female energy. Although most men are primarily guided by male energy and most women are guided mainly by female energy, your power has nothing to do with gender.
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Male energy is doing, thinking, and giving, whereas feminine energy is being, feeling, and receiving. And just as you feel good when you feel feminine, men feel good when they feel masculine.
By now, most women know the advice that they should let the man they like be the pursuer and wait for him to help them out. There's a reason men like the chase. Research from Harvard states that having a crush releases dopamine and adrenaline, and the thrill of a hunt is the chase for more of those chemicals.
Your energy has nothing to do with how you look, either. One 2011 study states men are more attracted to feminine-looking faces when judging short-term partners.
However, things often get skewed when a woman realizes she likes a man. At that point, staying in your female energy is harder — about being patient and receptive.
This is when women start using their masculine energy, calling him instead of waiting for him to call, trying too hard to impress him, and asking many questions, including, “Where is this going?"
The masculine-feminine energy balance then starts to shift. This becomes a vicious circle; whereas women start using more masculine energy, men become more feminine energy. That means he will be less likely to call, ask you out, take an interest in your life, want to please you, etc. This is usually when the problems begin.
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With a guy you’re not interested in, on the other hand, it’s easier to stay in your feminine energy because you don’t care. You don’t call if you don’t hear from him, you don’t ask where things are going, and you don’t try to impress him. In turn, the man stays in his masculine energy, feeling good and remaining interested.
Remember that everyone's energy is inherently tied to their instincts. Masculine, energy-led men can only fall in love when they give, not receive.
These days, women often come from either masculine or mixed energy. This leads to men being unable to feel manly and thus uninterested. By staying in your feminine energy, men will remain in their masculine energy, and the balance will be restored.
Lucia is a dating and relationship expert and the author of Lucia's Lessons of Love. She has been featured on radio and TV Shows as an expert, including Dr. Phil, The CBS Early Show, and Good Day LA.