Why It Feels Like A Burden To Be In A Relationship With Some People
It can be difficult to make a relationship work with someone who behaves this way.
FG Trade / Getty Images Signature via Canva Are you struggling in your relationships? Do you find yourself constantly arguing with your spouse or loved one about sharing responsibilities?
While you might think you're making your point, your attitude during arguments could be straining your relationship.
Psychologist Dr. Amanda Hanson, a self-love expert, is here to talk about one behavior that might make others feel like being in a relationship with you is burdensome.
Why Being In A Relationship With Some People Can Feel Like A Burden
It can be hard to be in a relationship with someone who constantly complains. And many of us spend too much time in victim energy, according to Hanson.
Blaming others, we yell that nobody appreciates what we do for them. However, “That badge you so proudly wear will be the demise of you and all your relationships,” says Hanson.
Take a step back and become the main character in your life. This doesn't mean stop supporting others, but it does mean start supporting yourself first.
When we put ourselves last this can lead to depression, anxiety, and resentment. But, “By taking some time to engage in this practice, you may relieve the pressures of everyday life and reset yourself to get back to a healthy point where you can be more productive again," writes Southern New Hampshire University.
So, journal your thoughts and emotions daily. Incorporate healthy activities like fitness or walking into your routine. Listen to music or read a book to help clear your mind.
But don't forget to address the root of your problems.
How To Stop Over-Extending Yourself
Want to stop over-extending yourself? "You have to let your voice be heard," writes licensed counselor Colleen Andre.
Speaking up about your needs is the first step to solving the problem. So, sit down with your partner and express your needs.
Use "I" statements to get your feelings across. Say, "I feel frustrated because I've been over-extending. I need help around the house." Then come up with a plan together.
Create a cleaning schedule and write it down on a board. Cut out time to do chores together and hold one another accountable. Just don't forget to keep things respectful.
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Next, stop volunteering for everything, suggests Colleen. Does a family member need help planning a birthday party? Don't always say yes right away. Tell your family member, "I'm not sure yet I need to get back to you on that."
Only volunteer to do something that fits into your schedule. If it doesn't, it's okay to admit you can't help out. If your loved one truly cares for you, they'll understand.
If they make a big deal out of it though, it may be time to reassess your relationship with them.
Understanding your behavior allows you to address and improve it, leading to more growth and maturity in the future.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.