Why Being Broken Up With Is A Win-Win Situation
Because breakups can be sweet.
fizkes / Shutterstock It seems like couples are breaking up left and right. January is the #1 month for filing for divorce, and then in February, we all get attacked by heart-shaped candy boxes.
Sure, the seductive holiday marketing might make you feel like being recently single is a double burn. But being alone on V-Day is better than being with someone who doesn't think you're as awesome as you are.
And let me tell you, hot stuff, getting dumped is truly a win-win situation.
Sure, most people think the dumper has it easy, but they've got it all wrong! In actuality, the dumper has to be the bad guy, because they can't admit to feeling sad since it's their fault and they have to agonize over their decision, plan it out, and bear the brunt of the guilt. Yikes!
Here are nine reasons why being dumped is a win-win situation.
1. You can remain speechless.
You don't have to explain yourself. They have to do all the talking about their feelings. You can opt to look at them like they're flattering themselves.
2. You don't need to be 'nice.'
You have every right to get mad, sad, and rude. Heck, you can even walk out on the check!
3. People will buy you things.
Your ex may have left a bad taste in your mouth, but your friends will buy you drinks, chocolate, and ice cream to cheer you up.
4. You won't settle anymore.
You're finally free to find someone who will actually appreciate you, rather than being stuck in a one-sided relationship.
5. You know you aren't wasting your time.
You know exactly how they feel about you and where you stand, perhaps for the first time in the relationship. And do you really want to keep wasting your time on something that isn't working?
6. You can buy nice things for yourself.
Especially now that you don't have to buy your ex a V-day gift, you can buy yourself something pretty, guilt-free! You earned a shopping spree to take your mind off things. While you're at the mall, pick up some sexy panties for your hot rebound.
7. You get sympathy.
So, testify! And for the record, Ben & Jerry will always be there for you in your time of need.
8. You can do whatever you want.
You get to have carefree, wild nights out on the town. If you never dated someone, you wouldn't have the motivation to really let loose.
9. You get to watch them come crawling back.
There's a good chance you'll get to enjoy watching them crawl back to you, eventually. They always come back for more, don't they? And then you'll finally get to reject them — and that's twice as sweet.
Simcha Whitehill is a writer whose work has been featured on TheFrisky, The Daily What, YouBeauty, Fangoria, Nickelodeon, The Pokémon Company International, and Jane Magazine.