If Your Ex Comes Crawling Back, It's For One These 4 Reasons
Crack the case of the disappearing and reappearing man.
Getty All too often, people meet, like each other, commit to being in a relationship, break up, move on ... and then get back together again.
When your ex gets back in touch with you after just when you feel like you were finally starting to heal, it's can feel like destiny (or let's be honest, your ex) is playing games with your emotions.
Men, like women, sometimes don't consciously understand their own reasons for getting back in touch with an ex after a breakup, yet they do it anyway.
After all, any good detective will tell you that criminals often return to the crime scene, even if it's not in their own best interests to do so.
There are a number of possible reasons why a guy may come back after a breakup.
What makes a man come back after a breakup?
1. A man may come back if he wants to let you know he's changed for the better.
Men know when they're the reason why a relationship broke down. They are affected by these things more than women expect them to be.
Because of this, men will often go back to a person they've wronged in the past in order to show you (and themselves) that they've changed.
Maybe they were childish or irresponsible before, but that boy might have changed into a real man. This may not necessarily be as a form of denial or trickery, but more of a reality check.
Thinking about a former partner may force some forgotten memories to mind, reminding him of what he no longer has and leading him to want to rekindle your lost romance as this better version of himself.
2. A man may come back if he wants to find out if you've changed.
This is pretty elementary, but people often struggle to understand this reason.
A man wanting to see if you've change might mean one of two things. The first would be that he just wants to check up on an old flame, and the second one would be that he feels a need to prove to himself that he is better off today than he was before he lost you.
The second meaning is more common. Many men like being able to prove to themselves that a breakup wasn't their fault.
When he sees an old flame and realizes she's still the same person she was before, it may give them a false sense of victory.
3. A man may come back if he wants to control you again.
Many guys find themselves reminiscing and remembering what a good time it was for themselves when they held an unhealthy amount of control over someone.
So it should be fairly obvious that men with a tendency to be controlling and manipulative will be likely to look back to a past relationship and want to check in on a woman they controlled in the past.
This is not the case for everyone, of course, but it is certainly something to be mindful of, especially if your ex is a guy who has a deeply rooted need to win.
4. A man may come back if he sincerely wants to get back together with you.
Sometimes, men will admit to themselves that they've lost someone they can't live without and they now feel ready to win back the woman they love. After going away, they re-trace their steps and realize that they made the biggest mistake of their lives.
When this happens, a man might reappear in the hope that the space he left in your heart is still reserved in his name.
This is most women's favorite reason for a man to reappear — he's spent enough time in his cave to now realize he's 100% sure that you are his one and only.
Samantha Jayne is the author of Attraction Secrets You Need To Know, How To Be Irresistible, as well as How To Make A Man Commit. Her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Sheknows Australia, and Women’s Health & Fitness, among others.