4 Well-Kept Secrets Womanizers Don't Want Women To Know
The type of man who can never change.
jeffbergen | Canva I have been a womanizer for a long time, so I know something about that category of men. I know, for instance, that a womanizer might exploit a woman's vulnerability when she puts herself out there to find a suitable mate.
Unfortunately, womanizers and players use ignorance to their advantage. Take it from an acknowledged womanizer: There are a few things we'd rather you didn't know, but I'm here to share the secrets.
Here are 4 well-kept secrets womanizers don't want women to know:
1. There's a difference between players and cheaters.
There are two types of womanizers: players and cheaters. One should be respected, and the other should remain despised.
An old saying is, "Don't hate the player; hate the game." That adage has a lot of lighthearted validity.
I distinguish players from cheaters because players have multiple female partners, and they are upfront and honest with women about their desire to be with more than one woman. This type of womanizer does not try to hide, deny, or camouflage the fact that monogamy is just not his thing.
Always appreciate men who are honest with women about their promiscuous desires. Cheaters interact physically with multiple women under false pretenses. They present a facade of wanting to be involved in a long-term, monogamous relationship with one woman, but deep down, they want variety in their bedrooms.
I have no respect for liars, manipulative game players, adulterers, and cheaters. I do not like the idea of toying with someone's emotions.
2. Some men are only as faithful as their options allow.
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
While I would not say that this assertion is 100 percent valid, it is valid more often than not. With that, I have three points to make.
First, if you are a woman and think a man is handsome, charming, and worth dating, there is a huge chance that dozens, if not hundreds of other women feel the same way about him.
Women will compete with one another to secure this man's companionship. Second, if a man develops a reputation for being very exciting and satisfying in bed with women, his "stock" will rise in the eyes of many women.
Third, it is effortless for a man to be faithful to one woman when he only has one woman offering him regular physical companionship. But when a man has five, ten, fifteen, or twenty-plus women offering him physical companionship, it is much harder for him to remain motivated to stay monogamous with just one woman.
3. The other woman rarely becomes a long-term girlfriend.
Once you allow yourself to be relegated to the role of a man's "mistress," "woman-on-the-side," or "booty call," there is a good chance you will never be upgraded to the role of "wife" or "long-term girlfriend."
I had this discussion with a female friend recently. Many women naively think that if they start out as the other woman, sooner or later, they will earn the right to be "upgraded" to that man's wife or long-term romantic partner. That is not impossible, but it is extremely rare.
Most men want to date and marry women who remind them of their mothers. I cannot tell you how many men I know are married or involved in a long-term relationship with a woman with one or more attributes similar to that man's mother. One Michigan State study even found that we're more likely to pick partners who remind us of our parents.
If you remind a man of his mother, to one degree or another, that is when his conscious or subconscious mind places you in the category of "girlfriend" or "wife" material. If the primary quality that stands out about you is your physical appeal and nothing else, then that man will only look at you as casual partner material nine times out of ten.
If it is truly your desire as a woman to be a man's future wife or girlfriend, then the worst thing you can do is start off being that man's "mistress" or "woman-on-the-side" while he is currently involved with someone else. You automatically lose respect in that man's eyes.
The chances of him ever upgrading you to his No. 1 romantic companion status are slim.
4. You can't change a womanizer.
Keira Burton / Pexels
Do not ever fool yourself into believing that you can change a womanizer into a monogamous boyfriend or husband type. You cannot. Research from 2015 tells us that people only change when they want to.
So, from this point forward, stop telling your girlfriends, "I hate men! All of them are lying womanizers, cheaters, and dogs!" That is not the whole truth.
Accept the fact that if a man possesses a lot of highly desirable attributes, his romantic and physical companionship is going to be in demand. As a woman, the best thing for you to do is ask him about his long-term desires, interests, and intentions.
Remember: As long as a womanizer is honest with you about what type of relationship he wants, don't hate the player. Instead, hate the game-playing of liars and cheaters.
Alan Roger Currie is an author, dating coach, public speaker, and talk radio host.