5 Warning Signs You're Entering Into An Abusive Relationship
These behaviors should send you running.
Bobex-73 / Getty Images via Canva We often hear that relationships are like fairy tales, filled with everlasting love and dedication. However, there's a darker side to relationships that can lurk beneath the surface.
Abusive relationships are sadly all too common. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men have experienced physical violence from a partner. As well as, 20 people per minute are physically abused by their partners, adding up to 10 million people per year.
While this is terrifying, there are warning signs you can look out for to avoid getting into these types of relationships. Licensed therapist and certified trauma specialist Logan Cohen breaks down the five warning signs you're in or entering an abusive relationship.
Five Warning Signs You're Entering Into An Abusive Relationship
1. They deny your memories
If you've been in an argument with an abuser you've likely experienced trying to bring up a point only to be shut down. They'll say, "I never said that! You're acting crazy," to make you doubt your reality.
"If this is common behavior they engage in then they're likely abusive," says Cohen. If you aren't sure, then try recording your conversations and keeping track of your memories in a journal.
Doing this can jog your memory about what was said and help you stay firm in your stance.
If this is behavior they've engaged in then you're likely entering into an abusive relationship.
2. They put on a public persona
An abusive partner puts on multiple masks. In public, they might play the role of the understanding and perfect partner, speaking sweetly to you in front of others.
But behind closed doors, they berate you and dismiss your emotions. If you notice this behavior, it might be a good idea to take a step back from this relationship.
It could be a sign you're dealing with someone abusive.
3. They are overly critical of others
Is your partner overly judgmental? I mean, not just the usual gossiping kind of judgmental, but the type who always finds faults in others, no matter how small their actions or mistakes may be.
"They do this to make themselves look superior," explains Cohen. And unfortunately, this behavior is likely to create rifts between you and the people who matter most to you.
4. They play the victim
According to trauma counselor Angel M. Hoodye, "Narcissists have a knack for twisting reality to suit their needs. They often portray themselves as the injured party."
They often do this to stay in control and keep you doubting yourself. And when you're confused, it's hard to leave the relationship because you start to feel like everything is your fault.
This is dangerous as it can lead to feelings of guilt and shame. So, if you find yourself in a relationship with someone like this, it's best to get out of there pronto.
5. They take ownership of your achievements
Abusers can't stand to let you have the spotlight. They need to take credit for your accomplishments to assert dominance over your life.
Twisting things, they'll say they're the reason you're successful. And they'll discuss every little thing they've ever done for you to rub it in your face.
If your partner always does this, it might be a sign to get out of that relationship. You could very well be dealing with an abuser.
Getting into or being in an abusive relationship is utterly horrifying. But if you know these five signs, you can steer clear of these kinds of relationships and hopefully find healthier ones later on.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.