The One Type Of Person You Shouldn't Fall For
Dr. Amanda Hanson says it's nearly impossible to feel secure in a relationship with someone like this.
Peopleimages.com / YuriArcurs via Canva Dating is tough and figuring out who to avoid can get tricky. But if you're looking for a specific type of person to steer clear of, look no further.
Psychologist Dr. Amanda Hanson dives into the one type of person you should avoid dating at all costs.
Why You Shouldn't Date This One Type Of Person
"If you date someone who doesn't love themselves you will never feel secure in that relationship," begins Hanson.
You'll never feel secure in that relationship because if someone can't love themselves. they can't truly love you.
And insecure people are great at faking love. Using their words, they'll manipulate people into thinking they love them. However, what they feel isn't love.
"Most of these people are trying to control you," says Hanson. They're trying to make you feel as insecure as they feel. Yes, insecure people will insult or "poke fun" at you to lower your self-worth.
Hanson says, "You can only love someone as much as you love yourself."
If you don't put an end to this behavior, then you'll find yourself repeating this toxic cycle of love. And if someone hates themselves, they'll probably end up projecting that onto you, reflecting their feelings onto you.
Photo: Min An / Pexels via Canva
But what if that's you? What if you're the one who wants to do better and learn to love yourself? Where do you even start? If you're looking to learn self-love, here are some tips from consultant Tchiki Davis.
3 Ways To Love Yourself
1. Self-compassion
Want to learn to love yourself? "Try having more self-compassion," says Davis. Learn to speak kindly to yourself. If it helps, try speaking to yourself as you would a loved one.
Or try writing down love notes. On a sticky note write down one thing you love about yourself. After, paste these sticky notes onto your bedroom walls or in your bathroom.
Practicing self-compassion will help you accept your flaws, which in turn, makes it easier to love yourself.
2. Loving-kindness meditation
According to Davis, "Loving-kindness meditation is a type of meditation that is used to help cultivate unconditional kind attitudes toward ourselves and others."
During these sessions repeat phrases like, "You may be free from suffering," or, "You may be happy." Focus on receiving the message and repeat this daily to help reaffirm your beliefs.
3. Gratitude
Acknowledging the blessings in our lives can make it easier to be less hard on ourselves. And when we take a step back, we begin to realize just how much our actions impact us and those around us.
We notice how we make others smile and laugh every day. How we light up a room with our presence. These feelings can lead to a greater appreciation for ourselves, which can in turn help us on our journey to self-love.
So, give yourself credit when it's due. Even appreciating your physical features can help you on your journey to self-love. For instance, saying, "I love my dimples, they remind me of my grandmothers," can gradually boost your self-worth.
Learning to love yourself isn't easy and it might take a while to get there. But when we don't love ourselves, we can never truly love others.
In reality, not loving ourselves keeps us trapped in a toxic cycle of emotional neglect or even abuse.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.