4 Subtle Traits Of A Cold-Hearted Guy, According To Psychology
If he acts cold, talks cold, he's probably cold-hearted.
freemixer | Canva When we first start dating someone, they are usually on their best behavior. They show you the positive sides of themselves, rather than the hidden, nitty-gritty qualities that would send you right out the door.
But over time, once you start falling in love with someone, you may notice that these bad habits are more than just quirks. So, is he cold-hearted or just misunderstood?
Here are four subtle traits of a cold-hearted guy:
1. He speaks derogatorily about women
Maybe he refers to women in a derogatory way in front of you. Or perhaps he didn't call after your first date, even though he gave off all the signs that he was really into you.
A sexist man is a man who will never have your best interest in mind. (One mind-boggling Pew Research Center study states that more than half of men in the United States think sexism is over.)
2. He's only in it for himself
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He might leave you wondering if he cares about you or just wants to be intimate with you. It might be hard to tell, especially when the only time he calls is at 1:30 a.m. after a night at the club. According to research from The Institute for Family Studies, getting too intimate too quickly can lead to thinking you're a match when you're not.
3. He treats the waitstaff poorly
When you go out, he treats service personnel like they are his servants. And the conversation over dinner is usually about how his ex was awful for no reason at all. One recent survey found that people's biggest first date turn-offs are people rude to waiters.
4. Your friends don't think much of him
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One of the biggest signs you're in love with a cold-hearted man is how you talk to your friends about him. He might have you convinced that you are the jerk, or that he treats you like garbage because you need to be treated as such, as this can be a sign of emotional abuse, research from 2019 indicates.
Creating doubt and causing you to think you're the problem is what jerks do. Bottom line: If you think he's a jerk, then you already know what to do. The fact that you're reading this shows that you don't want to believe it and that you're looking for some kind of external validation to make your decision. Do yourself a favor and dump that big jerk.
If you think you may be experiencing depression or anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional abuse, you are not alone. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and is not a reflection of who you are or anything you've done wrong. If you feel as though you may be in danger, there is support available 24/7/365 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233. If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.
Charles J. Orlando is a relationship expert best known as the author of the acclaimed relationship book series, The Problem with Women… is Men.