Three Red Flags That Should Immediately Send You Running
If you start dating someone and hear one of these three phrases, run away as fast as you can.
fizkes / Getty Images via Canva Jumping into the dating scene is always a bit daunting. And as you wade through the complexities, you might begin wondering what red flags you should keep an eye out for.
According to dating coach Sabrina Zohar, if you start seeing someone and they say one of these three things, you need to get away from them immediately.
3 Red Flags That Should Immediately Send You Running
1. "I’m not looking for anything serious."
Ever had a guy say, "I'm not looking for anything series." You might think you can change his mind or that he'll simply change over time. But if your date hits you with this line, it's high time you make a run for it.
"Don't try and prove you're good enough for them," says Zohar. She explains, “They’re telling you that they are going to hurt you if you continue being with them."
If your person is being upfront with their intentions, it most likely means you won't be able to change their mind. "And if you decide to pursue a relationship with them anyway, you need to look within yourself and ask yourself why," says Zohar.
Why do you chase emotionally unavailable people? According to retired therapist Dr Sheri Jacobson, “A need to chase after people who can’t love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues or even trauma.”
2. "You’re just too good for me."
The old, "You're too good for me," line might sound like a compliment at first. But upon closer inspection, this is another red flag that should send you hauling.
In their eyes, you're a prize and someone way beyond their league. Instead of making an effort to improve themselves, this person will likely offer you treatment that's below the bare minimum, hoping you'll stick around. Not sure if your date or partner fits into this category?
According to writer Rachael Pace and holistic coach Anne Duvauz, signs that your partner is doing less than the bare minimum include:
- Lacking respect for your boundaries
- Not asking about your day
- Being emotionally unavailable
- Not supporting your goals
- Not sharing their thoughts
- Not caring how you feel
3. "All of my exes are crazy!"
I can recall a conversation that I had with a friend about her now ex-boyfriend. During our chat, she mentioned something that immediately raised a red flag. She told me her boyfriend said, "All of my exes are crazy."
If you ever hear this phrase, don't just run — sprint for the hills!
As Zohar explains, “A relationship is two people.” And It's all too easy to claim that our past partners were narcissistic or toxic. But everyone has their own set of actions for which they must take accountability.
A constant pattern of toxicity shows immaturity and poor behavior on their part. And as I told my friend during that time, "What actions did he commit to drive them crazy?"
Nine times out of ten their relationship doesn't begin that way. But through lies and deception, anyone's character can quickly change for the worse.
So, spare yourself the trouble of becoming just another "crazy ex" on their list and make your exit.
By spotting these red flags you can better avoid problematic people as you explore the dating world.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.