10 Subtle Signs He's Nowhere Near Ready To Marry You
You want more but he's balking at the idea of legally spending the rest of his life with you.
Nataliya Sdobnikova / Shutterstock You think he's the one and you are anxiously awaiting a big rock and romantic proposal. But is he feeling the same way you are?
Your man may not be ready to decide whether he wants you to be his wife or not, or he simply may be avoiding the topic altogether. It might be how you two are together or it might be that he's just not ready to make that big of a commitment.
Here are 10 telltale signs he's nowhere near ready to marry you:
1. He shies away from your questions
When you ask where this is going with you two, does he avoid, distract or refuse to discuss the conversation? If that's a yes I can tell you now that he's not ready and continuing to confront him isn't going to change that.
2. He's reluctant to move in together
If he's avoiding moving in together, this is also a sign he's not ready to marry you or take it further.
3. He claims that things are great already as-is
This is his way of saying, "I'm happy with our status — don't ask for more." If he's not rushing to talk marriage it's because he likes where he's at with you just fine.
4. He says he's not rushing to have kids
Not every man wants kids, but for the men who state they want kids but they're in no rush is a big-fat glaring sign he's not ready to marry you or make anything too permanent.
5. He keeps his finances off-limits
You have no idea what his credit score or income-to-debt ratio is, and he's not offering that information. He doesn't want to combine money in any way. A man who isn't ready to share such information is probably not ready to place a sparkly-sparkly on your ring finger.
6. He's not signing anything or making big purchases together
Is your main squeeze refusing or hesitating to buy a home with you? Is he refusing or hesitating on getting involved in any major purchases with you? Even, for example, a dog or flat-screen TV? He's not ready to join the two of you together in a way that could make him responsible for anything "shared." This is not a man who is ready to marry you.
7. He doesn't get excited about his friends getting engaged
When his friends announce they're getting married, his part of the conversation usually goes like this: "Oh, bro, we're gonna lose you now! You're really whipped, huh?" The idea of his buddies marrying off is not thrilling to him. This man is not ready to marry you or anyone. He's got the "heebie-jeebies" over marriage.
8. He keeps you close but doesn't make you a priority
He's close to you but he's not prioritizing you in his life. He will spend plenty of time with you and he may even live with you, but planning for the future or making you number on the list is not on his own personal agenda.
9. He lets you down on every anniversary or celebration
Do you get yourself all excited for each anniversary, birthday, or holiday thinking this could finally be "the day he asks," but time after time, he doesn't pop the question? He isn't ready to marry you, and he may never be.
10. You're engaged but he won't set a date
Are you two engaged yet he's balking on setting a date or making any wedding plans? He may not be ready to marry you, or he may simply have doubts or cold feet.
Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.