7 Small Habits To Banish Post-Divorce Summer Blues
Don't let your divorce ruin your summer.
Marjan_Apostolovic | Canva Summer is upon us and for many, I fear, there is longing for summers past. I know what it can be like to face weeks without a fun vacation in sight or the hope of a romantic sunset on the horizon. Those summers from the years of so-called marital bliss seem so sweet by comparison. Misty watercolor memories of the way we were, or thought we were, rear their ugly heads.
Meaningful activities are good antidotes to post-divorce challenges, like your kids being on vacation with your ex. Ten years post-divorce I can honestly say it took only a summer or two to appreciate the value of that extended child-free me-time.
Even if you can't be away from work, many things require very little time or money. If you can, take some time off work, and spend it this way; if you can't take time off, make every effort to work these things into your schedule.
Here are 7 small habits to banish post-divorce summer blues:
1. Be a little luxurious
Whether it's soaking in a hot tub, morning coffee on your terrace, devouring the next post-apocalyptic novel, or watching a romcom, take time out of your busy day to do something that feels special. Choose something you don't normally do. Try not to rush it. Savor it.
Pexels / Ron Lach
2. Make time for people
Do things with people you love and care about. Schedule it and connect. Coordinating with others can be a challenge during the summer months, but that's no excuse. It's worth the extra effort to have face time.
3. Try something new and challenging
I'm taking an Ashtanga Yoga class this summer, and it's kicking my butt—in a good way. Audition for a part in a play, learn to paint, or go skydiving, but whatever you select, make it something you think will be fun, a little exciting, and a bit of a stretch.
4. Get some nature
Go outside and experience something bigger than yourself. It doesn't have to be in the wild, rugged, or far from home. A city pocket park is perfect if you focus on really taking it in. Maybe you'll chat with a fellow outdoors lover.
It can also be good for you. According to a Harvard study, spending time outside has amazing health benefits, including better sleep, lower blood sugar, and lower cortisol levels.
5. Relax and create inner space
Do whatever calms your mind, deepens your breathing, and gives you a sense of clarity and peace. You can achieve this by listening to music, meditating, reading, praying, and through many other activities. Experiment with different options.
6. Move
Dance, walk, run, workout, spin, practice Tai Chi, or do whatever works for you. Get moving and feel the earth move under your feet. Moving renews energy.
Pexels / Nathan Cowley
7. Travel
I'm not saying renting a house for the summer would be a misery, but it's the experiences you have in it that create happiness. Maybe you can squeeze in a weekend or two instead.
Drive or take a train to the next town, and eat in a new restaurant or hike a different route. Be sure to make it authentically yours, not a lame stand-in for trips you took pre-divorce.
Choose each activity based on whether it's something you'll enjoy. If you do as many of these seven things as you can regularly, I can pretty much guarantee that you will banish the summer blues.
In fact, why not do these things year-round? They're important components of wellness that help us feel good — no reservations or deposits required.
Judith Tutin, Ph.D., ACC, is a licensed psychologist and certified life coach. She shares more work in her book, The Post-Divorce Survival Guide.