11 Sad Signs You're Stuck In A Fake Relationship That Only Exists On Your Phone, According To Psychology
If these signals sound familiar, you're stuck in a virtual relationship that isn't real.
madamFootage | Canva With technology, it’s so easy to meet and communicate with people all over the world, which explains why so many singles of all ages end up in virtual long-distance relationships. When you're feeling lonely and looking for love, a flirty message from someone far away can lift your spirits like nothing else. One thing leads to another and the connection blossoms into a strong emotional bond.
Suddenly, you find yourself in a long-distance relationship, where you primarily rely on text messages, social media, video chats, and other virtual apps on your phone to stay connected. There's nothing wrong with enjoying an online relationship. The intimacy, caring, and support can be satisfying, but it depends on what your needs are.
Here are sad signs you're stuck in a fake relationship that only exists on your phone:
1. You've been texting/talking for months, but have never met (even if you aren't that far apart)
Don't you want to be with someone who would make the effort to see you? 2014 research from The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy indicates the more effort someone puts into a relationship, the happier their partner will be.
2. You may have met once or twice, but their time to spend with you is limited to texting or Facetime
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
It feels like you're in a relationship with your phone and not an actual person. In-person date nights, according to research from The Institute for Family Studies, are meant to improve relationships, but that can't happen if you're on the phone with them 24/7.
3. They say they want to see you, but they have loads of excuses for why they can't
Illness, work, family needs, and a demanding boss are the most used excuses.
4. You spend more time DMing them on social than on anything else
All of your free time is spent trying to find out as much as possible about this person. Constantly stalking someone online is bad for your health, according to a 2023 study from the Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking Journal.
5. They make plans with you but always cancel
You'll be getting ready and then they'll text you all of a sudden that something has come up every time.
6. They always push off planning a trip or seeing you in the future
Liza
Long-distance relationships can work, but you do have to see them at some point. One 2014 study from Pepperdine University even found that couples in long-distance relationships report higher levels of happiness.
7, Even if you fly to meet each other for a fabulous getaway, you still don't know who they are
What are they like when the chips are down or when you're not existing in a proverbial fantasy suite? These are important details for healthy, lasting love. You need to know a person to be in a healthy relationship with them. You need to know things, like what their values are, as this can tell you if you have the same goals for the future, confirms 2023 research from The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
8. They find it easier to share their thoughts and express themselves by text versus talking on the phone or in person
The written word, carefully chosen, can feel more meaningful than speaking naturally in the spur of the moment. 2023 research indicates that actions speak louder than words.
9. You'd rather wait around to text or talk to them than spend time with your friends or family
You're setting aside your priorities for a person who doesn't even care about you. Friendships are an important part of everyday life and are good for you, research from 2023 tells us. Don't do anything to risk that.
10. They love to text all day, but might not have time to talk at night
This can be a sign they are in another relationship.
11. You text during the day and talk at night, giving up the rest of your life and putting off other activities and responsibilities.
Once you recognize you are in an online-only relationship and want more, you can either transition it to real life — or move on to find true love. You can find a healthy relationship, one built on mutual respect, which is something research from The University of California Davis confirms is necessary for love to grow.
First, build up your self-esteem. Know you are worthy of having the real thing, and get frank with yourself about this relationship. Then, insist on setting a date with them for spending time together face-to-face. Let them know this is the end of the line, and you are very serious about your request.
Accept no excuses and give no second chances. If they truly love you and want to be with you, a quality person will do what it takes so they don't lose you. Realize that if they can't find a way to see you, it automatically makes them the wrong one for you.
Decide you will end the long-distance relationship if they cannot visit, meet you somewhere, or keep their word. Don't bother with idle threats — you must follow through and keep your word for your good. Set up your support system to keep you accountable about making this real or walking away should they disappoint you one last time.
Plan for the aftermath in case things don't work out, such as indulging in plenty of self-care: getting a massage, Reiki healing, taking cleansing baths with Epsom salts, and working out or doing yoga. You can also watch chick flicks, read a good book, and hang out with your girlfriends.
If you discover you're stuck in a virtual, long-distance relationship that's going nowhere, it's time to end things. Then, once you feel ready to start dating again, look locally for love. A woman who is serious about finding lasting love with the right person knows her chances are far better with a geographically desirable one.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.