33 Subtle Signs A Partner Is Micro-Cheating And Getting Away With It
Micro-cheating happens in the most elusive of ways.
Is your partner being sneaky around you? It's suspicious, but at the same time you know they are where they say they are so you would know if they were cheating.
Cheating is something that will usually end relationships, but micro-cheating is more subtle, has different levels, and can look different. So different in fact, it micro-cheating could happen right under your nose, and you'd never even know.
Here are the signs your partner is micro-cheating and getting away with it :
1. Reaching out to a girl who’s 'just a friend'
He says it's for a recommendation or advice on an issue. But he could easily Google the answer, so he does it because he feels like bantering.
2. Giving a waitress or a bartender an obscenely large tip
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He's just doing it because she’s hot.
3. Following a ton of hot girls on social media
He's beginning to feel like he knows them because he monitors their every post that closely.
4. Sending someone who’s not his girlfriend something blatantly provocative
Like an article about intimacy or some hot celebrity, because he thinks she’ll find it interesting or whatever.
5. Logging a girl in his contacts folder under a code name
He does it to avoid detection when she calls, texts, and emails. He shows you that he hides things from you, which shows a lack of respect for you. A 2009 study showed that this behavior is also a barrier to building trust in a relationship.
6. Tagging another girl in a post that reminds him of her
It may reference a seemingly innocuous inside joke between them. There's nothing worse than being left out of an inside joke.
7. Obsessively checking another girl’s social media feeds
Even worse, getting way more excited about the non-girlfriend's posts than he does about his significant other’s. And even worse when he has notifications on for whenever she posts.
8. Confiding in or venting to someone other than his girlfriend when he’s feeling especially emotional
He craves the response he thinks he can only get from that other girl.
9. Going out of his way to tell a woman he met or ran into the night before that she looked amazing
That's not how he's supposed to compliment a woman who isn't his partner.
10. Purposefully neglecting to mention his significant other in conversation
He does this so they think he’s single. Some people prefer to keep their personal lives separate from their professional sphere, choosing not to discuss their partner openly in a work setting. In more concerning situations, a study published in the Journal of Religion, Social, Cultural, and Political Science found that deliberately not mentioning a partner could indicate that someone is actively trying to hide a romantic interest outside of their relationship.
11. Diminishing his relationship as 'not that serious'
Even though he’s cohabiting and maybe even engaged.
12. Outright denying that he’s in a relationship
He does this to extend the flirtatious exchange he’s enjoying with some random girl on the train or at a bar. Even if he has no intention of trying to hook up with her, he just likes the attention of another woman.
13. Closing his eyes when he needs a minute to escape and daydream about the girl he’s crushing on
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It's because she’s his opium of the moment and not his girlfriend.
14. Sharing good news with another woman first
He has a stronger bond with her than he does with his partner.
15. Reaching out to an ex on a day that was once significant to them as a couple
This could be like their anniversary or the day they first were intimate. Reaching out to an ex on a once-significant day in your relationship can be risky. It could stir strong emotions and lead to confusion or false hope, especially if the breakup was not amicable.
A PLoS One study found it's generally best to avoid this unless you have a clear and well-thought-out reason to do so and are prepared for any response, including no response.
16. Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who’s not his girlfriend
Like, hook her up with tickets to a concert or a reservation just because.
17. Telling another girl he’s thinking about her
Especially when it's on a day that’s not her birthday or a holiday.
18. Texting a 'friend' good morning just to say good morning
He wants her to know she's the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up.
19. Picking up the tab like it’s no big deal when he’s out with someone who’s not his girlfriend
He wants to impress her or seem cool.
20. Giving another girl a 'hope certificate'
This could look like some degree of reassurance that he’ll be on the market soon by insinuating that things are rocky between him and his girlfriend when they’re not.
It could be a playful or symbolic gesture, indicating that you hope to have a romantic relationship with her in the future, even if you're not pursuing anything serious or are already in a relationship with someone else. 2023 research explained that it can be seen as expressing subtle interest without explicitly making a move.
21. Meeting up with another woman for dinner or a drink and insisting that it’s work-related
This one might be valid but guess what, it also might not be.
22. Choosing to do something he knows his significant other would enjoy with another woman
It could be going for a bike ride, eating at a specific restaurant, or seeing a certain movie. Even worse when she's most likely available.
23. Sending a photo to an ex that reminds him of a good time past
He feels like reliving that old memory temporarily and hopes she will share the nostalgia with him.
24. Establishing secret code words and/or inside jokes with women outside his relationship
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Having a secret language with someone else allows him to get intimate without being intimate.
25. Recommending that his girlfriend starts wearing a certain type of clothing
He secretly wants her to look like the girl he’s kind of crushing on.
26. Gifting his girlfriend with a bottle of the perfume his crush wears
He does it so she’ll smell like his latest fantasy.
27. Keeping a piece of clothing that reminds him of an ex
Even though it’s definitely tattered or completely out of style, he may keep it so he remembers her.
28. Raving about how awesome some other girl is to his friends
Even worse, he never even talks to his friends about his partner anymore.
29. Downplaying a certain woman’s awesomeness whenever she’s mentioned around his significant other
He's proactively doing damage control.
30. Asking for a girl’s contact information under the guise of potentially working together
He knows there isn’t a chance they’ll be collaborating professionally.
31. Following up with a “nice to meet you” message unnecessarily
He continues to try and text her small talk.
32. Spending all of his time engrossed in conversation with another woman at a party or event
Even worse when he brings his girlfriend as his date.
33. Mindfully leaving his wedding ring at home when he heads out with the boys
This is not so much because he wants to get lucky, but more because he wants to feel like it’s in the realm of possibility for him again.
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