3 Signs The Guy You Met Online Is A Big Liar
White lies are one thing; huge, honking red flags are what we're warning you about here.
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock Online dating is a great idea for many different reasons and for many people. But don't be fooled by ad campaigns that suggest that everyone on dating sites are there to find true love, or that some computer system can match you perfectly with the partner of your dreams.
The biggest issue with online dating sites is that they all start with a user-generated profile. Let's face it: most people don't tell the truth about themselves online. They are certainly not going to own up to the fact that they really don't want a long-term relationship, and are looking to just hook up.
Some online lies are obvious. Many people fudge their statistics a bit, shaving off a few pounds, a few years, adding a few inches, or boosting their professional accomplishments or their personal achievements. Fudging the truth online in this manner has practically become expectable.
But while these little white lies may not be deal breakers, there are some issues that should raise big, red flags.
Here are three signs the guy you met online is a big, fat liar:
1. He won't meet you in person
It is always important to be very safe when meeting someone in person that you have only met online. A good idea is to take a friend, bring your own vehicle and meet in a very public place.
However, when a person online refuses to meet under any conditions after you have established an online relationship, there is often a big problem. If they are upset that you are bringing a friend this should be a key indicator that they are not considering your feelings or your comfort level.
2. He needs to be on his own territory to meet
While you want to meet somewhere that you are comfortable with, you also have to be flexible as to what the other person wants. If he is absolutely unwilling to meet anywhere besides where he suggests, this will give you insight into his personality.
Does your date want to meet so they can limit who you see and who sees you with them? Are they concerned about being able to totally control the whole date? Is it a dangerous situation for you to put yourself in?
3. He refuses to provide a phone number or personal information
A big red flag should be waved if they won't give you personal information once you have established that you have a connection and would like to meet in person.
Once you are comfortable and have an online relationship, they should be willing to take it to the next level. Often, unwillingness to provide a phone number or information about where they work or live means that they are in a current relationship or have something major to hide.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach who helps people cope with codependency, love addiction, toxic relationships, and mental health issues. She is also the author of Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency To Find Everlasting Love.