The Disturbingly Common Reasons Men Disappear After The First Date
Why he didn't ask you out on a second date.
Africa images | Canva Guys can be fickle, or, as the French say, "huge jerks who don't call women back." Sometimes, though, we've got a pretty valid excuse for not picking up the phone. After the jump, why men might not call you back for that second date?
Here are the disturbingly common reasons men disappear after the first date:
1. He's shy/intimidated
Some guys just get intimidated, or we're too shy to ask for a second date. Make sure you get his number and call the dude up to scope things out. You'll know if he's intimidated in the first 10 seconds of the call when he either claims the phone is on fire and hangs up or he nervously vomits into the receiver.
2. You didn't offer to pay
Most men have no problem paying for their dates. We're gentlemen at heart, or at least we like to think so. According to a YouGov poll, nearly a third of respondents felt that whoever initiated the date should be the one paying.
Still, we like it when our dates at least offer to cover their share. If our date seems to be taking advantage of a free dinner, that second date isn't going to happen.
3. He's not attracted to you
This one isn't that likely, since he probably asked you out on the first date. If it was a blind date or if you changed some key part of your appearance (you dyed your hair pink and lost/gained 150 pounds) before the date, it can certainly throw things off.
4. The conversation wasn't equal
Don't confuse confidence with vanity — if you're going on and on about yourself, we're not coming back for seconds. Be sure to keep the conversation two-sided and keep some mystery alive by not jamming your biography into an hour-long dinner.
5. You talked a lot about your exes
Don't bring up your ex on a first date, especially to tell us how you're still excellent friends. We hear, "I'm still into this dude, but yeah, you're, uh, pretty okay."
6. You wouldn't stop looking at your phone
If you're on the phone constantly during a first date, we're not going to be on the other end of the line later on. This applies to texting, too; in fact, texting seems even ruder.
Dmytro Zinkevych / Shuteerstock
7. You misled him on your dating profile
This one's common with the internet dating crowd. Don't tell lies about yourself before the date kicks off. Don't say that you're a rich hand model who enjoys Russian literature (note: I have been told this). Unless, of course, you are any of those things (she was not).
8. You missed his signals
Some guys have trouble making a move, and if you shrugged off his arm on your shoulder because you were hot or leaned away from a kiss because you heard your neighbors going through your trash, he might be feeling rejected.
Call him to set things straight. While you're at it, call the cops on your creepy neighbors. If you don't want to be confused next time, a body language hint that he likes you, according to research from Oxford, is that his body will move in sync with yours.
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
9. He met someone else
If it was just a first date, an old relationship might have flared up or the guy might have met someone that he'd rather date. He doesn't feel an obligation to call you and say anything since, well, it was a first date.
Don't hold it against him, but don't wait around either. If you don't get a call within about a week of the first date, forget about it and move on.
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