A Psychologist Reveals The One Trait No Relationship Can Thrive Without
Five ways to know if your relationship is built on the most solid of foundations.
simona pilolla2 via Shutterstock If you've been in a relationship for a while, you've likely experienced your fair share of ups and downs. When things get rough, it is hard to know whether to give up or keep fighting. But, there is one thing in your relationship you absolutely can't thrive without, no matter how hard you try.
The one trait no relationship can thrive without
Psychologist Dr. Aria Campbell Danesh shares that there is one trait your relationship must center in order to survive: respect.
Mutual respect must be at the core of your love
If you've been in a relationship for a while you'll find yourself going through some pretty tough times. You'll find yourself having explosive arguments or having to sacrifice just to keep your relationship intact.
Don't get me wrong, these things are hard to get through. However, they aren't impossible to overcome. But one thing can irreparably damage your relationship is disrespect.
Danesh explains, "Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship." And without respect, there is no foundation to build trust and a genuine connection with your partner since respect has been shown by research to be a protective factor in marital stability.
But how do we know if disrespect is even an issue in your relationship? Danesh explains the five questions you need to ask yourself to determine if your relationship is a disrespectful one.
Here are five questions to ask yourself to determine if mutual respect is present in your relationship
1. Are you able to communicate openly and honestly?
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How you communicate with your partner will help you determine if a lack of respect is an issue in your relationship. If you can't be open and honest with your partner, then that's a major red flag.
The Journal of Experimental Psychology (2018) supports how poor communication points to a fear of being judged or hardly criticized just for expressing yourself. The reality is, you've probably expressed yourself before just to be met with contempt and criticism. If that's the case, it sadly shows your relationship might not be salvageable.
2. Are you able to set and maintain boundaries?
Being able to set and maintain boundaries is important in any relationship. And saying, "No, I don't feel comfortable doing this," shouldn't be a phrase that is upsetting to hear.
But if your partner makes it hard for you to maintain your boundaries, then your relationship might not be as respectful as it could be.
3. Can you both understand each other's perspective?
When you get into an argument with your partner what happens? Do you take turns expressing your emotions? Do you try to understand each other's perspective?
If the answer is no, then you might not be able to rekindle your relationship.
It's important to understand that communication is the foundation of any relationship. And without it, no relationship, including yours, can survive.
4. Are you both willing to forgive?
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One key component in any relationship that is often overlooked is one's ability to forgive. You see, to forgive is to show grace to yourself and your partner.
It's to acknowledge the human in one another and accept those flaws — no matter how dark they are.
So, ask yourself, "When you hurt each other are you able to forgive and move forward?" If the answer is no then your relationship is unfixable.
5. Do you share common goals for the future?
You can't have a long-lasting relationship without any commonalities. After all, how can you move forward if you don't even know what direction you're headed?
This is why it's important to talk with and discuss your aspirations for the future. To have those "uncomfortable conversations" and get on the same page.
But what if you can't get on the same page? Then what? Well, at the very least, you now know this relationship isn't right for you, and it's time to move forward to find something new.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.