2 Psychologist-Approved Ways To Get Over Your Ex In A Hurry
The magic space between wallowing in pain and pretending your ex never existed.
LOOK | Canva Okay, you just broke up with your ex, right? Understandably, you're probably going through a pretty tough time right now.
During this tough time, you've probably wondered how you can even get over your ex. I mean, people make it look so easy — but it's really not. Where do you even begin? Do you angrily delete them off social media, or do you try to move on to someone else right off the bat? Clinical psychologist Dr. Aria Campbell Danesh has some great, practical advice.
Here are 2 psychologist-approved ways to get over your ex fast
1. Rediscover who you are
When we break up with our partner it's easy to forget who we are. After all, we might've spent so many years with this one person. And we've grown, changed, and built our entire life around our relationship.
Which is why reverting back or discovering our new selves is so hard. We literally have to rewire our brains to no longer care about that person's opinion. So, how do we get there?
Dr. Danesh advises us to, "Focus on activities and passions that you enjoyed before the relationship and take time to explore what a life that you love looks like now."
Don't get me wrong, this won't be easy. Likely, you'll find yourself reverting back to old habits or unconsciously caring too much about what they'd say. However, the longer you spend apart the easier it'll be to step into your new self, as suggested by a University of New Hampshire report.
2. Create space to heal
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Spending time apart is the easiest way to get over a relationship. Dr. Danesh explains, "It's so important to limit contact with your ex, to give yourself space to heal."
And yes, this includes unfollowing them, blocking their number, and erasing old pictures that remind you of them. Now, for some, this might be seen as petty.
I mean, isn't blocking going too far? Do you really have to unfollow this person just to heal? But as Dr. Danes points out, "Healing takes time but every step will bring you closer to your true self."
With that being said none of this will be easy and we often undermine just how painful breakups can be. According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, "A break-up may be associated with problems in mental health and a general decline in one’s feelings of satisfaction with life."
So, give yourself grace in your healing journey. Understand that it's normal to feel the way that you do, but that you will get through it with time and patience.
Moreover, be sure to share your heartache with a friend or therapist.
According to the University of Kansas Health System, sharing our problems can help:
- See problems in a new light.
- Easier problem solving.
- Get rid of the power of that feeling quicker.
- Decreases our anxiety.
- Can ease our depression.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.