10 Passive-Aggressive Habits Of Happy Couples Who End Up Divorced, According To Psychology
Passive aggression is often more damaging than straight up aggression.
UfaBizPhoto | Shutterstock Each person has an unreasonable and harmful psychological side to their character. And this dark side and passive-aggressive behavior can undermine a relationship dangerously. If you want to experience a happy, healthy relationship, then quit sabotaging your relationship and start rectifying it. Below are the most typical features of exactly what I like to call “relationship downers” and how they can sabotage your relationship.
Here are 10 passive-aggressive habits of couples who end up divorced, according to psychology:
1. Scorekeeping
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Contending can swiftly turn a relationship into an unsightly fight of one-upmanship. How can you potentially be a winner if it is at the expense of making the individual you allegedly love a loser? Strong relationships are about sacrifice and caring, not power and control. Competitiveness can drain the delight, self-confidence, and efficiency of any relationship.
2. Fault-seeking
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with positive criticism if it is created to enhance the relationship. However, if done too often, it can lead to consistent faultfinding — in which you spend more time focusing on the defects and blemishes rather than the value of your partner. When you appreciate the good things your partner has to offer, you will get more of the good things your partner has to offer.
3. Refusing to compromis
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“If you have constantly got to be right, then you prepare to eliminate till completion,” states Dr. Phil; “You will certainly battle to the end — completion of your relationship. You cannot be self-righteous or consumed with control and do exactly what’s finest for the relationship at the same time.”
Researchers have found that men and women who are never wrong would feel extremely exposed if others witnessed them being wrong. Being wrong under any circumstance in front of others reflects to them a weakness or flaw, even when most people would not consider being wrong here or there as rising to the level of a flaw. People with good self-esteem accept that they are sometimes wrong because they understand that they are human.
4. Having an aggressive tone
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When you enter an argument, do you have a killer look, a severe tone, and upsetting words? Guard dogs might experience short-term gain; however, the target of the abuse ends up being full of bitterness. While it’s simple to fall under viciousness, it’s much more difficult to fix the resulting effects.
5. Controlling everything
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Instead of fault-finding or nitpicking, these hazardous partners attempt to prevent their partner by continuously doing that which they reject they are doing — in such an indirect method about leaving responsibility if they are faced. A passive-aggressive individual is as much of a self-important controller as the most aggressive, in-your-face individual you might think of — just they do it insidiously and underhandedly.
6. Using smoke and mirrors
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Since you do not have the guts to obtain genuine answers about exactly what is driving the discomfort and issues in your relationship, you slam your partner about something when you’re actually upset about another. Exactly what is genuine never ever gets voiced, and exactly what gets voiced is never ever genuine. The genuine problems will ultimately break forth in a torrid method.
7. Refusing to forgive
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When you decide to bear anger at your partner, you trap yourself in discomfort and misery — and the unfavorable energy can crowd every other feeling out of your heart. If you indulge in animosity and decline to forgive and proceed, you will certainly destroy your very own life and your relationship. You cannot alter the past however, you can handle the resulting sensations and harm by being genuinely flexible.
8. Being a bottomless pit of need
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Are you so needy that you continuously weaken your possibilities of success? Can you never get enough fulfillment, love, interest, or gratitude? Your partner will certainly be annoyed by never appearing able to “fill you up.”
All of us desire peace of mind; however, a pressing craving for it never provides your partner any rest. Free yourself from the internalized sense of insufficiency, and discover other methods to feel your self-respect and value.
9. Becoming too comfortable
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If you’re in a convenience zone, you are failing to satisfy your duties in the relationship. You aren’t contributing, you aren’t promoting, and you aren’t stimulating. If you do not make a step, it ends up being much easier and simpler to be complacent.
10. Quitting too soon
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When numerous bad practices crowd your life, you cannot envision there being any method out. You end up being so miserable, lonesome, separated, unfavorable, negative, and far from your core of awareness that you think you have to quit. Be strong enough to face your issues instead of quitting.
According to research, passive-aggressive behavior is conceptualized as an immature defense mechanism due to its negativistic and covert nature, contributing to the suppression of emotional conflicts and impaired problem-solving capabilities.
Collette Gee is a relationship specialist, author, and speaker who helps people create and sustain meaningful and successful relationships.