Overwhelmed New Mom Feels Guilty After Her Husband Accuses Her Of Being A 'Bad Mom' — 'I Am Trying To Keep Everything Together'
She claimed that her husband was unsupportive of her new role as a mother.
christinarosepix | Shutterstock A new mom admitted that she's feeling isolated and questioning her role as a parent after hearing criticism from her husband.
Posting to the subreddit r/Parenting, she claimed that her husband has been incredibly unsupportive and downright rude to her following the birth of their son.
She feels guilty after her husband accused her of being a 'bad mom.'
In her since-deleted post, she explained that she noticed a change in her husband's attitude while she was still pregnant. She recalled that throughout the months leading up to the birth of their son, her husband wasn't there for her and was constantly reminding her that he didn't want any children but would "grow to love" their son once he arrived.
For months, she felt alone and would spend hours crying from fear of motherhood. She felt that she couldn't confide in her husband because he refused to be there for her.
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It's so important to be able to lean on your significant other when facing the future as a first-time parent because, more often than not, you're both feeling the same level of anxiety and nerves at bringing a new life into the world.
The birth of her son was quite traumatic and scary. She recalled having a severe hemorrhage that kept her in the hospital for quite some time.
"I endured a lot to bring our son into the world, and I love him with all my heart, but lately, I have been feeling detached [from] my family after my husband told me I was a bad mother and 'barely' a mom when we got into an argument," she continued.
Her husband attempted to take back what he said, but it was too late, and now the idea that she may be a bad mother has been weighing heavily on her mind.
She admitted that she doesn't blame her husband for feeling overwhelmed himself.
"It just really hurts knowing I am trying my best, but it isn't enough. If I could stay home and be a stay-at-home mom, I would in a heartbeat, but I have to give my son a good life," she added.
It's definitely unfair that her husband is taking his frustration at taking care of their son out on her, especially considering that's his role as a father in the first place.
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Her feelings and experiences of having "mom guilt" are more common than she realizes. According to a survey by Bright Horizons, 87% of working mothers feel guilty about their job's impact on their children, and 50% feel guilty about the time spent away from their children.
The term "mom guilt" refers to the shame and guilt that some women experience when they don't meet their own expectations or others' expectations of being a successful parent.
As her husband, instead of feeding into her insecurities, he should be more understanding.
If he's unsure of what his wife is going through, then he should be taking steps to educate himself instead of making it worse and causing her to feel even more guilt and shame.
"I clean up the house, cook dinner, buy all the household necessities, I even fund all of our son's expenses. He never really has to worry about if our son has or needs anything. Sometimes I feel my husband is more demanding than my own son is at times," she acknowledged.
At the end of the day, it doesn't sound like this woman is a bad mother in the slightest, and her husband should be doing everything in his power to make sure that she doesn't feel that way instead of feeding into the narrative that's living in her mind.
After suffering through such an intense and isolating pregnancy and birthing experience, she shouldn't have to deal with receiving such negative energy from someone who should be supporting her.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.