Mom Tells Her Son's Girlfriend To Break Up With Him Because 'She Deserves Better'
Should she be held responsible?
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock Getting involved in other people’s relationships is rarely a good idea. You never know how any drama you inadvertently cause could come back to haunt you. One woman learned this the hard way after giving her son’s girlfriend some unusual advice.
The woman encouraged her son’s girlfriend to break up with him.
A mother posted on Reddit asking for advice because she was concerned that her actions ruined her 20-year-old son’s relationship with his girlfriend Lily.
She explained that her son has been in a “rut” lately. “He has very little work ethic, has no desire to get a job or go to college, and spends most of his time gaming or partying,” she wrote.
His girlfriend, however, is in stark contrast. “Lily, on the other hand, is the polar opposite,” she explained. “She’s very studious, has aspirations to be a doctor, is a very good swimmer, and is currently away at college.”
The mother provided some background on her son and Lily’s relationship, explaining that they had been together for three years. “When my son and Lily first got together in high school, they were an excellent match,” she said. “We loved having Lily over and my son definitely took more care of himself. Since then, it’s rapidly deteriorated.”
“I know my son still loves Lily, but he never gives her the attention she deserves and with her clear potential, I just feel she deserves better,” she claimed.
Recently Lily came to visit, and things quickly went downhill.
"She was visibly upset,” the mom shared. “I asked her if she was okay, and she told me that she didn’t know what to do and wondered why my son had such little ambition and was so lazy.”
The mother then gave a critical piece of advice that changed the course of their relationship. "I told her I didn’t see it changing anytime soon," she wrote. “When she asked me what I would do in her situation, I told her to put herself first and [do] what she wanted."
Just days later, this advice sent shockwaves through the family. “My son comes downstairs in a rage telling me that Lily had broken up with him via text,” the mom said. “I asked him what she said and apparently the message referred to ‘discussions with your mom’ that had made her rethink the relationship.”
Photo: Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
Her son was understandably upset. “My son was livid that I’d gotten involved and said I’d overstepped boundaries,” she stated. “I told him that I didn’t advise Lily to leave him, just said she had to make her own choices and decide what was best for her.”
Reddit commenters were split on whether the mom did something wrong.
Many Reddit users felt that the mom was not in the wrong in this situation. As one person commented, “You didn’t tell her to end the relationship, you told her to consider her needs.”
Many chimed in with similar sentiments. After all, the mother hadn’t explicitly told Lily to break up with her son. Rather, she had empowered her to make her own decisions. In this case, that decision just happened to be breaking up with her son.
Others were less sympathetic and took issue with the mother’s attitude toward her son. One person stated, “Having no work ethic or ambition does not make him a bad person … Have you considered maybe being more encouraging instead of acting like he is beyond repair?”
While the mom did react particularly strongly to her son’s current state, the issue at hand is about his relationship. While it could be said that she encouraged Lily to break up with her son, she only told her to do what was best for her. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.