Man Wonders If He’s Wrong For Wanting To Leave His ‘Toxic’ Pregnant Girlfriend — ‘I Have No Trust In Her’
“She can still be a good woman. A horrible partner, but a good woman.”
Joaquin Corbalan P | Shutterstock.com Wanting to leave a relationship when your partner is pregnant is generally thought of as selfish, which is exactly why one man was hesitant to share his dilemma on Reddit.
In his since-deleted post, he explained that his girlfriend had been cheating on him for several months and continued to do so even after he confronted her about it. He wanted to get out of the relationship but was struggling to do so because of the pregnancy.
“I just don’t have any interest in this relationship anymore,” he wrote.
Looking for advice on how to navigate the situation, but mostly for compassion and support in mustering up the courage to break the news, he turned to Reddit.
The man wants to leave his unfaithful girlfriend but feels guilty because she’s pregnant.
“She cheated on me a while back,” he started his post. “She begged me to stay and for some reason I stayed … I really did love her. Our relationship has been extremely toxic since then and I have absolutely no trust for her.”
Trust is certainly the cornerstone of any relationship, and once it's gone, it is very difficult to rebuild. If both partners aren't actively engaged in the process, there's really no hope for a future.
The infidelity continued even after the man confronted his girlfriend.
The distraught man explained that he tried to rebuild their relationship by setting clear expectations and boundaries and talking to her about his insecurities.
However, she continued to lie and cheat. “She’s in the military and has a lot of guy friends … She kept going behind my back and lying [while] hanging out with all of them.”
People Images Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
While his requests to stop spending time with all her guy friends might’ve been unreasonable, he argued it was what he needed to start to trust her again. She could’ve ended the relationship there, but she used his insecurities against him.
“She snapped on me, saying I’m insecure and all this, but I knew for a fact she was lying about [everything].”
While pregnancy can be a huge and impactful step for a relationship, it doesn’t require both partners to continue working towards something that just isn’t there — and commenters wholeheartedly agreed.
Commenters urged the man to end his relationship to save him from inevitable heartbreak.
Despite years of being invested in their relationship, the man admitted he no longer had “any interest” in moving forward with his girlfriend. “She’s very, very controlling,” he wrote. “I just don’t really want it anymore … Our relationship is so toxic.”
That statement alone would indicate that the relationship is over, but nothing is ever that simple in life.
Knowing that she has a poor support system and comes from a traumatic background, he couldn't help but feel guilty about “taking away” her dreams of a more stable family for the baby. But, commenters insisted he considers his own feelings and future.
Her choice to cheat multiple times tainted their relationship, and that’s not his burden to carry.
Others argued her pregnancy was a manipulation tactic altogether. “It’s sort of strange that she'd spring a pregnancy announcement on you the day after you try to break up,” one theorized. “Even if she is [pregnant], kids need parents who are taking care of themselves … you can’t do that in an abusive relationship.”
Considering this baby might not even be his, it’s essential for this man to finally make a relationship decision with his best interest in mind. “This is a delicate situation,” one commenter added. “Make sure you get all your ducks in a row … finances, housing, perception…before you make it serious to her that you’re leaving. It’s time that you look out for yourself.”
While he might still care about his girlfriend and wish the best for her, there’s no ignoring the fact that their trust is broken. Her previous actions made it clear their relationship wasn’t worthy of her time, energy, or respect, so why should he try to rebuild it?
“Don’t let her take advantage of you anymore,” another adds. “Let her find the support she needs…and don’t forget about a paternity test. Child support is a tricky process.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories