Man Wants To Divorce His Wife Going Through Menopause After She Throws A Mug At His Head
Menopause can be a difficult transition for women.
shisuka / Canva Pro When women approach menopause, due to a decrease in estrogen and progesterone levels, they can experience heightened mood swings and even depressive episodes.
During the various menopausal stages, the change in hormones can sometimes bring about unruly behaviors.
One man took to Reddit to ask for advice after his menopausal wife threw a mug at his head and he had to go to the ER.
In his Reddit post, the 50-year-old man explained how he has been married to his 45-year-old wife for nearly 20 years, and they have a 16-year-old daughter together. He added that they are relatively happy together, having their “ups and downs like any marriage.” They've worked through obstacles together and attended marriage counseling in the past.
He further explained how they both do their part in helping each other with household chores and cooking, describing his overt cleaning tendencies due to growing up in a roach-infested home as a child. Needless to say, the man seemed to take on a lot of household responsibilities for his family, which is more than many men can say.
The man revealed that his wife has begun to experience perimenopause, which is the beginning stage of menopause when a woman’s ovaries gradually stop making estrogen. This stage generally lasts anywhere from a few months to 10 years and ends once a woman has gone 12 months without having a period. Some symptoms of perimenopause include irregular periods, mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats, and trouble sleeping.
“She's been super emotional and a bit unlike herself for the last 6 months or so,” the man wrote in his post. “She is taking meds to help even out her hormones, but it's taking time.”
He added how she has experienced extreme highs and lows, being “overly nice” one day, and complaining about everything the next.
One day, she was having a difficult time and lashed out violently, causing him to rush to the ER.
The man said he had forgotten to set up the coffee pot the night before, and his wife woke up frustrated by this. When he came down to the kitchen, she was visibly upset. With a migraine and morning brain fog, he apologized and promised to make coffee as soon as he was fully awake.
“She didn't like this answer, so as I went to sit on the couch, she threw her coffee cup at me, causing it to smash into my head, breaking and splitting my head open,” the man said.
His initial reaction was outrage at his wife’s aggressive and violent response, but as he noticed blood dripping down his head, the anger was quickly replaced by fear.
Photo: grinvalds / Canva Pro
His wife immediately realized her fault and as she cried and profusely apologized, she shouted for her daughter to bring a towel.
Their daughter drove him to the ER, and fortunately, the cut wasn’t too serious, only requiring surgical glue.
Despite his miraculously minor injury, he was more than displeased with his wife for resorting to such drastic measures over coffee. “That cup could have hit you on the wrong side of the head and [caused] severe damage,” one Reddit user pointed out in the comments.
The man is now considering filing for divorce following this outburst.
While he was able to dodge a much darker reality of head trauma, the man revealed this incident brought up memories of his rough upbringing, being abused by his mom his whole childhood until he was 18.
“My wife knows this, and when she did what she did, it brought back all those memories so long ago forgotten,” he said. “I love my wife, but I swore to myself that I would never be in a place where I'd be abused ever again.”
He asked if he would be wrong for leaving his wife over this, given her situation.
The majority of Reddit users supported the man in the comments, additionally concerned for his and his daughter’s wellbeing due to her intemperate behavior.
“You need to make sure you and your daughter are safe from violent outbursts,” someone commented on the post. “I am also going through [perimenopause] which makes me a little crazy at times, but allowing myself to lash out physically is NEVER an option, period.”
Perimenopause can bring out an ugly side in women, but at what cost?
The woman is likely dealing with a great deal of challenges and hurdles as her body undergoes major changes, but how justified are her violent actions that could have severely injured, or even killed, her husband?
According to Stella, women are “more prone to angry outbursts” and struggle with a “simmering irritability” during menopause. Additionally, up to 70% of women undergoing menopause report increased anger and irritability.
Photo: Valerii Honcharuk / Canva Pro
With that being said, while this scenario is rather extreme, occurrences like this are actually not uncommon, as the symptoms of menopause can cause women to act aberrantly. There are some ways to combat this anger, and women should visit their doctor or consider therapy if menopausal symptoms persist.
While it’s important to give women grace for their unstable and unpredictable emotional outbursts during menopause, this woman should have known better than to physically attack her husband over a cup of coffee, which he was planning to make her anyway.
There may be some details the man chose to conceal, as there are always multiple sides to a story, but regardless of this, certain acts, especially violent ones, are unforgivable, no matter the circumstances.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.