Man Plans His ‘Exit Strategy’ After Waking Up To His Girlfriend Pouring Water In His Ears — ‘What Happens When I’m Asleep?’
"Last night doesn't feel real. Neither does feeling the water come out of my ears this morning."
Zmaster | Shutterstock Sometimes relationships just fizzle. Other times, there's a singular, deal-breaking "ah-ha" moment when you know that it is, no two ways about it, time to call it quits.
A man on Reddit is currently grappling with one of these "ah-ha" moments. But the catalyst is not cheating, unkind words, or trust-eroding lies. It's something so bizarre that even for him, it "doesn't feel real." And it has people giving him one singular piece of advice: Run.
His wife has been secretly pouring water in his ears while he's fast asleep.
The man is forming his 'exit plan' after waking up to his girlfriend pouring water in his ears.
"I recently awoke to my girlfriend intentionally pouring water in my ears," the man began his Reddit post. "What is the name of this behavior?" Um… weirdness, sir. I think the clinical term for this is "weirdo."
RollingCamera | Shutterstock
"I finally got most of the water out and my hearing is nearly normal," he continued. "I was amazed at how much water was in there. I was amazed at how much of my hearing had been muffled."
As you might guess, this young man is distressed by this bizarre discovery — especially since it seems to have been going on for far longer than he initially thought.
The man felt like there was water in his ear for weeks, and even went to a doctor because of it.
There's perhaps nothing more annoying than that feeling of water crammed in your ears that just won't leave. For this guy, it persisted and persisted — so much so that he went to the doctor.
"I have met with a doctor and ENT about feelings of an ear infection," he said. "Both reported nothing wrong."
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
Because of a history of ear infections in his youth, he was worried about what was going on. While the doctors found nothing, everything became clear when he woke up one night.
"When she left the room I laid on my back and some of the water came out," he wrote. "My girlfriend made the disappointment lip-smacking noise you do before saying 'Ah, man.'"
What most freaked him out was that "she wasn't even trying to be silent when she got back into bed." She was texting on her phone, making the lip-smacking noise, going in and out of the room — almost like she was trying to get caught.
He feels he has no choice but to form an 'exit plan,' and pretty much everyone on Reddit agreed.
The lack of explanation is probably what's most disturbing. He noted that his girlfriend does struggle with mental illness, and he wondered if it was related. Regardless, he's not just uncomfortable, but scared.
Weirdly, pouring water in someone's ear — specifically, their left one — in a process known as caloric vestibular stimulation was discovered in the '90s to be a temporary cure for everything from phantom limb pain to manic episodes. Today it's also used to test for abnormalities that can cause dizziness, auditory issues, and other conditions that can result from damage to the nerves in the ears.
But a keen interest in neuroscience or audiology is... well, probably not what's going on here, and people urged him to consider his safety and get away from her. But he revealed that he's afraid to do anything too abrupt, especially given details of the story like her sending text messages in the middle of the act.
"Who the [expletive] was she texting?" he wrote. "Was she blocking my hearing to let someone into the apartment without me hearing?" This led many to bring up stories about sadistic abuse and even serial killers that shared similar contours to what he was going through.
"This girl needs help you can’t give," one person wrote. "Save yourself before you end up a victim of something terrible." Others urged him to change the locks on his home and immediately get away from her, especially after he revealed how she's "talked about wanting to be a killer in a famous case" after watching true-crime documentaries.
Whatever is going on in this relationship, it's very, very off. And if there's ever been a perfect object lesson in listening to your gut and trusting your instincts in a relationship, it's this one. As one commenter person put it, "Last night should be her last night in your apartment and your life." That seems like good advice.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.