Man Dumps His Girlfriend After She Expects Him To Pay The Entire Bill For Her Birthday Dinner With All Of Her Friends
His girlfriend argued that because he's "the man," he should've paid the restaurant bill in its entirety.
Dejan Dundjerski / Shutterstock A man has questioned whether he overreacted after breaking up with his girlfriend because of a birthday dinner gone wrong.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AITAH," the 24-year-old man claimed that he and his girlfriend had quite the ugly breakup after he found it ridiculous when asked to pay an entire restaurant bill.
He dumped his girlfriend after he was expected to pay the entire bill for her birthday dinner with her friends.
In his Reddit post, he explained that he and his girlfriend have been dating for around four years, and on her 24th birthday, he decided to book a table at a nice restaurant for the two of them and some of her other friends. He admitted that he makes quite a bit more money than his girlfriend and covers the rent and utilities for their apartment. She covers other household expenses, like groceries and miscellaneous bills.
While at the restaurant, he noticed that his girlfriend and her friends were ordering some of the most expensive dishes on the menu, but didn't think too much about it. He just assumed he'd cover the cost of his and his girlfriend's meal while her friends paid for themselves.
"When the bill arrived, and the waiter asked if I would like to split the bill, I said yes. I told the waiter that what my girlfriend and I ordered would be on me, and the rest should be decided between her friends," he recalled. The overall bill ended up coming out to an estimated $1,185.
As soon as he said he wanted separate checks, the faces of his girlfriend's friends immediately dropped once they realized they had to pay for their own meals. After dinner and on the car ride home, he pointed out that his girlfriend had been silent, and when he kept asking if she was alright, she assured him that she was fine and just tired from the dinner.
However, her silent treatment lasted for an entire week following her birthday. He assumed not paying the bill for her friends might have been the reason, but he refused to believe she would be so shallow.
Photo: Dejan Dundjerski / Shutterstock
"She ended up telling me that I embarrassed her in front of her friends by not paying for everyone. I asked her why it was my responsibility to pay. She told me that since I organized everything and I was 'the man,' I was obliged to pay for everyone."
This seems to be a reoccurring conversation in heterosexual couples, especially among the most recent generations. The debate usually concerns the first date, and according to the New York Times, nearly 80% of men expected that they would pay on the first date, while just over half of women (55%) expected men to pay.
If his girlfriend expected him to pay for everyone, she should've made that clear beforehand.
By not discussing the arrangement of who would be paying before her birthday dinner, their wires ended up getting crossed, and they both found themselves at odds. He and his girlfriend got into a heated argument about the entire debacle.
"When I confronted her again, she told me to transfer the money her friends paid for the food, and only then would she talk to me. We got into another heated argument, and I broke up with her then and there, telling her to pack her things."
Just because one partner may earn more or traditionally take on certain roles does not mean they should automatically bear the financial burden of social events. Instead of assuming, financial expectations in any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, should always be mutually discussed and agreed upon, especially since the two of them are only 24. Most Gen-Zers aren't even financially equipped to live on their own, much less pay an entire $1,000 restaurant bill.
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In a survey from Bank Of America, more than half, 53%, say a high cost of living is a barrier to their financial success, while nearly 73% have changed their spending habits amid record-high inflation. Among the changes they are making are cooking at home more frequently, spending less on clothes, and limiting grocery shopping to essentials.
In the comments section, people agreed that he wasn't wrong for breaking up with her or refusing to pay the dinner bill for her friends, with one Reddit user writing, " Forget the money! Her willingness to reconcile only if you pay her friends screams manipulation. You deserve a partner who respects you, not someone who tries to control you with finances."
It's always important to be financially open in relationships with other people, especially if there is a clear discrepancy in the amount of money that each person earns. However, this should never be used as a means to impose financial obligations or expectations onto one partner.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.