Man Decided To Let His Girlfriend Be Homeless After Spending Thousands Of Dollars Trying To Keep Her Afloat
He claimed that he's done everything he can for her and feels that it's time for her to start supporting herself.
True Touch Lifestyle / Shutterstock A man admitted that he was forced to make a difficult decision regarding his relationship after no longer being able to financially support his girlfriend.
He shared on Reddit that his girlfriend is in a financially precarious place and he no longer wants to be the one to support her while also trying to support himself.
He decided to let his girlfriend be homeless after spending thousands of dollars to try and keep her afloat.
In his Reddit post, he explained that he's been dating his long-time friend for the past 7 months, and while he's always loved her, she has a recurring problem. He claimed that she has a hard time finding and keeping a residence for any length of time.
"She has no family that is responsible enough to turn to and her friends are all either moved out of state or married with children so she doesn’t have many places to turn to," he wrote. "Not long after we started dating, about a week, she confessed to me she was behind on her bills. Rent [and] car payment, to the point that she couldn’t provide for herself."
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Since the two of them had been friends long before they started dating, he had no issue giving her the $700 that she needed to take care of her bills and other expenses. The money helped her for some time before she ended up getting sick and missed a week of work because of the illness and ended up falling behind on her payments once more.
Because she suffered from a compromised immune system he knew that he couldn't hold her circumstances against her and decided to give her an additional $1,000 to cover all of the payments that she missed from not being able to go to work, however, she ended up getting into another financial hole because of her family.
"Then her uncle ruins the relationship between her and her landlord meaning she only has a month to find a new place to live. She refuses to live with a roommate and after a month I convince my parents to let her live with us in my room rent-free."
Shortly after moving in with his parents, she ended up quitting her job because of issues between her and management.
She was able to find another job at a coffee shop but needed money for a wardrobe that matched the dress code she was expected to follow. He fronted her the money for her new clothes and makeup, which had him spending an additional $1,000, but she wasn't able to keep that coffee shop job for long.
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"She starts the job and is immediately being harassed by staff for her short height, some not even helping her get things from high shelves. She then falls ill with Covid and misses more than a week of work. The coffee shop demands she take a leave of absence for some reason but we decide it’s better for her to look into getting an older job back."
He ended up providing more money while she worked to get her old job back, but she did secure the position.
Four months later, his parents are asking that she move out now that she has a steady income coming in.
However, she refuses to live with a roommate and instead wants to get a house with him, which he's been saving up for over the last year.
Since she wants to wait, she'll have to be homeless until he closes a deal on a house, but she's frustrated that it's taking so long. "I feel I’ve done a lot for her already and she needs to square her own rigging and find a place to rent with a roommate until I have enough saved up to buy a house," he insisted.
It's unrealistic to assume that a partner can provide money for every expense while also trying to keep themselves afloat. It's clear from this man's Reddit post that he's gone above and beyond for his girlfriend repeatedly, but if she can't learn to stand on her own two feet and make smarter financial decisions, he shouldn't have to empty his wallet.
While it is compassionate to want to be there for your significant other in times of distress and need, there should come a point when boundaries need to be drawn so that it doesn't feel as if one person is being taken advantage of because they have the means to provide.
A relationship isn't always going to be 50/50, but there's a difference between sharing the load and just letting someone lift you because they've offered and now you've gotten comfortable with their safety net.
People in the comments section agreed that he shouldn't feel obligated to financially support his girlfriend all of the time.
"She clearly has problems with saving and work ethic. It shouldn't cost her $1000 for clothes and makeup for a service job. Also, every job is going to have its problems. I suspect she isn't being fully transparent about why she can't hold a job," one Reddit user wrote. "Keep going with this relationship and she's going to continue ringing you out for all you're worth. She sees you as her easy out for everything."
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Another user added, "At some stage, she needs to figure out how to save herself. She won't always be able to rely on the generosity of others. You've done a lot to help her through, but she's still not doing anything to help herself. If your generosity continues — she'll become dependent on that."
"You seem like a really sweet guy and it breaks my heart to say this but you deserve better. You deserve someone to take care of you the way you’ve taken care of them. Maybe she does have true, and good intentions with you but she still needs to grow up a bit for your relationship not to be one-sided," a third user chimed in.
It's vital that both people in a relationship feel that there is some sort of equality between how they care for each other.
Whether his girlfriend realizes it or not, she shouldn't ever let someone else be responsible for her life and the expenses that come along with it.
Standing on your own two feet isn't just beneficial to the relationship, but will teach independence because there might come a time when she'll have to do those things without a partner, and she should never be afraid of one day having to support herself.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.