Husband Threatens To Divorce His Wife After She Insists On Becoming A Housewife — 'I Don't Feel She Was Honoring What We Agreed Upon'
According to his wife, he makes enough money to support them both.
Elnur / Shutterstock Before getting married, a man and his wife both agreed to always work outside the home to make ends meet. However, his wife recently suggested she leave her job to stay at home — something he did not agree with — leading to a marital strife that has the potential to end their relationship.
The man threatened to divorce his wife after she insisted on becoming a housewife despite their original agreement.
In a since-deleted Reddit post, the 26-year-old man revealed that he has been with his 28-year-old (soon-to-be-ex) wife for six years and married for two. Before getting married, the couple discussed their career expectations.
“We have since the dawn of our relationship agreed that both of us would work and there would be no stay-at-home in our relationship,” the man wrote.
However recently, his wife expressed a desire to stay home and take care of the housework while the man continued to work at his job.
“Her reasoning basically is: ‘I hate my work and it makes my life miserable, but you make 90% of our income anyway so you could support me and I could be happier that way,’” the man shared.
While he understood the stressful nature of his wife’s job, he did not believe that it was a valid reason for her to become a housewife.
“When she started having these ideas I shut her down immediately and reminded her that our relationship was since the beginning against these dynamics and that I wouldn't change that and rather a divorce,” the man revealed.
His alternative suggestion was not met well by his wife. “She got super offended and said that taking care of the house can be really demanding and basically a job if you do it properly,” he wrote.
While the man agreed with his wife that taking care of household chores was indeed a job, he argued that it was the reason why he paid professional cleaners to do it. “I pay people to clean the whole house, do dishes, do laundry, lawn, gutter,” he added.
After their dispute, the man’s wife left to stay at a cousin’s house. Ever since, he claimed that her family has been bombarding him with calls and texts, calling him an “a–hole” for “not supporting her staying home and taking over housework.”
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“Apparently she's not even eating properly and ended up at the hospital two times already,” the man wrote.
For further context, the man added that he and his wife do not, and are not planning on having children, therefore the housework would be less frequent and demanding.
“I had a vasectomy done at 20 and never wanted kids, and even being snipped I still use condoms just in case," he shared. "We both agreed on no kids since before dating.”
The man claimed that, currently, most of their housework is contracted and what isn’t is split between himself and his wife. Still, he added that he does most of the cooking and even packs his wife’s lunch for work.
Although the man emphasized that he loves his wife, sharing that it “pains” him not to have her around, he insisted that marriage is about more than just love.
“Marriage is also a contract, not just love, and I don't feel like she was honoring what we agreed upon by wanting such radical change, therefore I deemed us no longer compatible,” he wrote.
Most people online agreed with the man, noting that if his wife was unhappy at her job, she should find a new one rather than become a housewife.
Many argued that going from having a career outside of the home every day to staying at home with nothing to do but look after the house would be detrimental to his wife’s mental health.
“If she hates her job she should look for a new one," one Redditor advised. "I know it sounds great at first to just be home all day but when my wife lost her job she learned quickly how lonely it can be. You have all the free time but everyone else is working.”
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“If she is in a toxic unhealthy work environment it’s natural to feel the way she feels. Encourage her to discover something fulfilling," another user wrote. "I have friends who went to stay at home and ended up creating their own business and earning way more than working for someone else.”
The man added that the women in his wife’s family strongly believe that "work is for men" and that wives should stay at home to fulfill housewife duties.
However, they may want to look around the next time they go grocery shopping, go out for dinner, or to a doctor’s appointment. Chances are, they will notice that most of the employees are female.
According to Statistica, as of 2023, 75.54 million women in the United States were employed. Moreover, 40.5% of women are the primary breadwinners in their homes.
Photo: Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock
While some families may require one spouse to stay at home to look after the children and household, especially if they cannot afford childcare during working hours, both partners remaining in the workforce is ideal — for their mental health and their wallets.
Some of us may not realize how much working actually benefits us mentally. When people are confined to the house, they often experience isolation and loneliness, lack of routine, and loss of stimulation.
If the man’s wife is unhappy at her job, finding another one that fulfills her needs may be more worthwhile than staying at home to mind the house for the rest of her days.
While life is bound to change, if there is no dire reason for the woman to leave work, she is expected to uphold her end of the deal. Marriage, after all, is about sacrifice, compromises, and keeping promises as much as it is about love.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.