3 Unusual Habits That Signal He's A Player — Even If He Comes Across Nice
Why it's so easy to be played.
It is sometimes hard to spot a player, especially if you are falling deeply in love. But at the start of a relationship, we're all looking for ways to tell if a guy actually likes us, or if he's just playing us.
What's one way to know if he's crushing on you? Research shows that men try to attract women's attention by showing off their status and social power. Is it the best way? No, but men are simple creatures.
When my girlfriends confided in me about some of the seriously messed up romantic situations they find themselves in, it's easy for me to judge them and offer dating advice they may not want.
Looking at it from a stance of pure common sense, it makes no sense why any girl would waste her time on a guy who's playing games or only sees her when he needs a ride to the airport.
But that's the thing: love doesn't make sense. Emotions don't make sense.
That connection you feel when you're talking to someone over candlelight doesn't make sense. Because if it did, smart girls would be acting a whole lot smarter and would recognize the signs of a player.
Here are 3 unusual habits that signal he's a player, even if he comes across as nice:
1. Players will say the right thing sometimes, but they're love bombing
A player will make a grand romantic gesture every now and make a girl feel special. They're not acting like jerks 24/7 and getting away with it.
Often they will love bomb girls to get them to be obsessed so they have more freedom to do what they want on the side.
Love bombing is a way for narcissists to manipulate their victims into staying with them, especially early on, one study from University of Arkansas concludes.
2. Players will do the absolute bare minimum required to keep you around
It might be a compliment now and then or staying up late talking to you on the phone or taking you out for ice cream once every few weeks.
3. He might act like a boyfriend when he's around, but that doesn't mean he is one
Because when you two aren't together, he's not paying attention to you. He's ignoring your calls, hanging out with his friends, and acting like you don't exist.
Liza Summer / Pexels
If a guy loves you, his behavior won't change whether you're sitting next to each other or are 500 miles apart. He'll make a real effort to see you as much as he can. He'll act like your boyfriend because he likes being your boyfriend.
So even though you feel like a relationship with this player is just around the corner, it's not.
That's just the mindset he keeps you in so he can keep you around. It's messed up — and you deserve so much better.
Emily Blackwood is a writer and editor focused on relationships and pop culture.