Former 'Tradwife' Explains How A Simple Doctor's Visit Led To The End Of Her Toxic Marriage
A single appointment helped her realize that she was incredibly unhappy in her marriage.
Branislav Nenin / Shutterstock A former "tradwife" or traditional wife, has revealed how a trip to see her doctor led her to eventually start therapy to work through the issues in her marriage.
In a TikTok video, content creator, Enitza Templeton, revealed how she was able to leave a relationship that was no longer serving her without the threat of her husband trying to retaliate.
Templeton explained how a simple doctor's visit led to the end of her toxic marriage.
Templeton recalled that the decision to leave her unhealthy marriage came after she scheduled a visit with her doctor after her husband claimed that he was "tired of my horrible sex drive" that had declined after she had children. He blamed her for not being able to satisfy him and accused her of being the worst mother and wife.
"I made an appointment at the doctor thinking I had something wrong with my hormone levels," Templeton said. She admitted that during that time, she was a shell of a human being and was incredibly unhappy in her marriage.
Templeton pointed out that she felt "dead inside," and the doctor was able to pick up on that during her visit. The doctor started asking her more about her personal life and then assured Templeton that she wasn't going to run any tests on her. Instead, the doctor told Templeton that she wanted her to feel better mentally and prescribed her an antidepressant.
"I got in trouble for that," Templeton said. "He is the one who drove me to the appointment and then picked me up. He was so excited to hear what was this magic fix, and when I told him they prescribed me an SSI, he lost it."
At that point, Templeton had been a "tradwife," which typically means a woman who believes in and practices traditional gender roles. Many traditional wives believe that they do not sacrifice women's rights by choosing to take on a homemaking role within their marriage.
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Caught up in this ideology, Templeton figured that her husband's response meant that there was something wrong with her and decided to go to therapy.
After telling her therapist the details of her life and marriage, Templeton realized what the true issue was in her life.
"I started telling the therapist all the stories, all the arguments we'd been having. If anything, I was twisting the story to lean more to him. I was definitely giving him the benefit of the doubt and being brutally honest with what I was doing."
Upon hearing all of this, Templeton's therapist admitted that she was concerned about her and explained that it sounded like her partner suffered from some sort of personality disorder. Since she couldn't diagnose them, her assumption was truly just based on the stories and details that Templeton provided about her husband, but that was all it took.
Templeton's therapist ended up piecing things together and she was finally able to see her partner for who he truly was. Someone who harmed her, made her feel terrible about herself and blamed her for things that were out of her control. Five years later, Templeton got herself out of that toxic and unhealthy marriage. Her only regret was that she didn't try to leave sooner.
The "tradwife" movement has continued to dominate on social media, and while some women choose to go down this path and find happiness in fulfilling the traditional aspects of womanhood, there are other women who find themselves forced into this role because of the men they've married. Whether a woman wants to be a traditional housewife, a working mother, or not a mother at all, the choice should always be up to them.
Templeton recalled feeling immense pressure to get married and fulfill the expected role of a woman.
In an interview with CNN, Templeton said that by the age of 24, she felt that she needed to marry and have children. By age 26, she got married, had her first child, and quit her job to become a full-time homemaker.
"I was just doing the next thing in life because I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do. And I thought, like, happiness in my life will start then," Templeton told the news outlet. However, despite having a desire to be a mother, she still felt empty inside, alone, and sad after the birth of her first child. She figured that maybe the solution would be to have more children to become even more of a mother.
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However, after going through therapy and educating herself about the realities of her marriage, Templeton realized that the happiness she was striving for wouldn't exist until she got a divorce. So she did just that. She told CNN that as soon as she left her traditional marriage, she felt instant relief.
"Putting moms on this pedestal of perfection is damaging to literally everybody, the whole entire world. Because when your mom falls — because she will, she is a human — you’re going to be so hurt that she fell from so high," she said.
Templeton even insisted that when people see women getting divorced in their 40s, they automatically assume that they're going through a mid-life crisis when in fact they are simply returning to who they are and finding happiness within themselves.
"We kind of follow the path and do everything that's right, and then you realize, when does life get fulfilling for me?" Templeton observed. "You kinda wake up and realize, it's now or never."
Templeton insisted that she was only trying to shed some perspective that life for a woman doesn't have to be all about serving a man and fulfilling gender expectations. Happiness and fulfillment exist outside of what's expected despite what others may say. She pointed out that the entire "tradwife" phenomenon does nothing but serve others while leaving women feeling depleted and alone.
In the end, Templeton's personal experience and story shed light on how often these societal expectations that are put on women always do more harm than good. Women deserve to live the lives that they choose to live, define their own paths, and break away from marriages that force them into a box where they are stifled from rising to their full potential.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.