5 Daily Habits Of Wives Whose Husbands Aren't Happy, Says Psychology
Avoiding these habits will do your marriage a world of good.
FluxFactory | Canva In relationships, we too often forge our differences by expecting our partners to think and behave as we do. There are often common things wives do, quite unknowingly, that drive husbands away.
To have a happier relationship, try to avoid the following behaviors as much as possible.
Here are 5 daily habits of wives whose husbands aren't happy, says psychology
1. They tell their husbands what to do
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Are you constantly telling your man how to drive, how to dress, how to behave? Women are good at making improvements, but this highly sensitive area is off-limits. The most important thing to a man is doing a good job. Question his competence, and you'll not only hurt him, but you'll meet a wall of resistance.
Instead of telling him what to do, try to ask for his opinion. Men thrive in an environment where they are the experts, so help them be the expert.
Instead of saying, "Honey, you should do this..." ask his opinion: "Honey, what do you think of this?" This allows him to share his thoughts, and you get him involved in a conversation about whatever issue is on your mind, as suggested by a study published in the journal Discourse Processes. This simple trick can help bring about improvements in your husband without telling him what to do!
2. They break into his cave
This is a big "no-no" for women. When a man has a problem, he goes to his cave (becomes quiet and withdrawn) to solve it. Needing some alone time when you're in a relationship is normal behavior, and during these times, he doesn't want to talk or be disturbed. If you follow him into his cave or pressure him to talk, you're likely to encounter a fire-breathing dragon.
When a man is forced out of their cave before they are ready, it's a bit like waking a sleeping giant. If you give him the space to work his issues out on their own, you are showing him that you trust them.
An article in Current Opinion in Psychology Journal supports the idea that trusting a man to do their best is one of the greatest gifts a woman can give her partner. So enjoy the time, see a movie, go out with friends, or simply relax. He'll be back soon enough.
3. They mother and smother him
Men can be big babies, so they're easy to mother, and of course, some mothering is readily accepted. The problem is when mothering becomes smothering. In effect, you're saying he isn't grown-up, he isn't competent, and he can't handle things on his own. That's offensive.
Also, mothering makes it difficult for him to see you romantically. Instead, trust him to handle his issues, and when he doesn't, let him deal with the repercussions. When he needs your help, he'll be sure to ask.
4. They ask him, "Could you ...?"
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When asking him for something, do you use the words "Could you ... ?" It may seem like a minor point, but when you say, "Could you take the trash out?" you're questioning whether or not he is capable of doing it. This is offensive to him.
Instead, ask, "Would you take the trash out for me?" This shows you have confidence in him to handle the job and will be pleased to have him do it for you, which research has shown increases a man's satisfaction with the relationship.
5. They forget that pleasing her is what pleases him
Many women are unaware of what excites men. One of his biggest turn-ons is knowing he is giving pleasure to you. He wants to see you excited and fulfilled. So, instead of worrying about pleasing him… let him please you. When you receive the secrets of successful relationships, you'll learn to communicate your desires and other secrets to more intimacy!
Try to avoid these five behaviors that drive men away, and your relationship will be more successful, and your overall happiness will be greater.
Dr. John Gray is a Doctor of Philosophy, relationship coach, and author of Wellness Solutions, with features in People, Oprah, Time, The New York Times, and more.