Dad Blames His Wife For Making Him Spend All His Savings On Her Extravagant Lifestyle
He claimed that keeping up with her lifestyle had driven him to using up all of his savings, including the money he put aside for his kids.
spixel / Shutterstock A woman admitted that her husband had recently become distant and moody, but when she confronted him about it, she learned that he was putting the blame solely on her.
Posting to Reddit, she claimed that her husband's lifestyle had changed drastically because of how she was living.
He blamed her for making him spend all of his savings to match her extravagant lifestyle.
In her post, she recalled that her husband, John, had been acting aloof for quite some time, and when she finally approached him with the topic of separation, their conversation ended up in a blowout. He finally revealed the status of his finances, which she explained was something they always kept separate.
"My husband and I have always kept our finances separate. Although we call each other husband and wife and had a wedding, we are not actually legally married. This was primarily for inheritance purposes because we each have older children from previous relationships," she revealed.
Her husband admitted that all of his savings were gone and that all the money he'd saved up for retirement and for his children's schooling was all gone. He further insisted it was all her fault since he'd used the money to keep up with the lifestyle that she lived.
She pointed out that the bills and other necessities were never an issue for them since they always split costs evenly. The house they lived in was completely owned by her, which meant no mortgage payments as well.
However, she enjoyed traveling a lot and spending money on experiences. She would invite John and his children on the trips she'd take but never wanted them to feel obligated to go. He was, however, expected to pay for any tickets or accommodations for him and his children.
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John told his wife that all the spending on trips depleted his savings quite quickly, but she interjected, questioning why he would spend all of his money on trips when he knew he couldn't afford it. He claimed that he just wanted to keep up and that he almost felt obligated to because they lived together and were married.
"John thinks since I knew his job I should have had a basic understanding of his finances and realizes this wasn’t a lifestyle he could maintain. That the kind thing would have been to offer to pay for the trips and other things instead of dangle them in front of his and his kids' faces."
She insisted that while she could have realized that all of the heavy spending he was doing didn't match his salary, it shouldn't have been her responsibility to keep his finances in mind when they had agreed from the start to keep their money separate.
Discussing finances in relationships is an important aspect that most people don't tend to do.
For some reason, talking about money is seen as a taboo topic, especially in platonic and romantic relationships. However, opening up to the people in your life about your finances, the money you make from your jobs, and the money that you have available to spend can help with avoiding arguments or fights in the future.
Most people are often in the same boat financially but will never know because of their insistence that money should never be spoken about. According to a survey from Bread Financial, 64% of couples admit to being “financially incompatible” with their partners, with different philosophies about spending, saving, and investing their money.
"I think the biggest thing is having the conversations early on in your relationship, and continuously approaching it together," Kendall Meade, a certified financial planner with SoFi told CNBC's Make It. "I recommend once a month. I call it money dates, where you just sit down, and you can be doing something fun, like going out for dinner. And you just talk about finances."
Especially upon entering a marriage, it's important to know about outstanding debts that your partner has, payments that your partner makes every month, and all other financial aspects that could impact the relationship or plans that you've made, including trips, buying property, or even having children.
It can be scary to discuss finances, especially with a partner. Openly discussing how much money you have can be uncomfortable, but in the long haul, being transparent will make it easier for both people in a relationship.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.