Couples Who Overcome Infidelity The Quickest Do 2 Things Right After The Affair Happens
How will you get through the affair?
Marta Nogueira, Nicolas Rizzon | Canva When I learned about his infidelity, I thought I was doomed to a lifelong sentence of victimhood. To my surprise, less than two years later, I no longer feel like a victim — I feel like a survivor. Now, I want to show you how you can be a survivor, too.
When you first find out about an affair, life seems like it's not yours anymore. It's as if you’re transported into one of those reality TV shows you get sucked into week after week, dying to know what happens next. Only with this particular show you don’t want to know what happens next.
At first, you don't know what to do, believe, or think. I remember going through the motions. I just wanted to wait and see what would happen.
My life had become so unpredictable. When the affair was out in the open, my mind took over in the pain deliverance. I thought I was the only one going through this, but that's wrong. About 44% of people get cheated on in America every year, according to statistics.
It was agony to go through the process of recovery, but I'm so glad that I did. And with these two steps, you can too.
Couples who overcome infidelity the quickest do two things right after the affair happens:
1. Allow yourself to feel the pain in its entirety.
Your mind and body know what to do to deal with tragedy. Fighting it will only make you physically ill. It's your body signaling that you aren't allowing it to heal. Resisting your body to heal further could cause you to feel pain longer, or you may manifest it in other ways.
For example, have you ever seen individuals who are quick to react negatively to situations? They always complain, and they will never be happy with their relationships.
Nothing in their life is good enough for them. All they know is misery and suffering, so they spend all their time making bad choices and justifying them. Unresolved issues like these can be devastating to your future.
Remember: It's better to be unhappy now than unhappy for the rest of your life. So, how do you feel the pain? Experience it. When you want to cry, let the tears flow freely until you don't want to cry anymore.
Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio
2. Reach out to your friends and family for support.
It can be challenging to go through the rage and sadness alone. Having someone who understands you can help you cope with your pain. If you don't have close people in your life that you can lean on, consider getting a therapist or life coach.
These professionals can help you understand why you're feeling this way and recover. While it's agony, it truly makes you a stronger person. And if another heartbreak happens, they'll help you through that one, too.
Marcelina Hardy, MSEd, BCC, is an author, life coach, marriage educator, and relationship coach.