3 Disturbingly Common Reasons Even Happy Husbands Leave Wives They Love
Even spouses in happy marriages leave, and here are the primary reasons why.
Nuttawan Jayawan | Canva It's devastating when your husband leaves you and you don't know why. You can spend months, sometimes even years, trying to figure it out while you learn how to deal with a breakup. But when you dwell on the past, it's worse than him leaving.
This thinking keeps you bonded to him and prevents you from meeting someone else. While many wives may think a fear of commitment causes the husbands they love to leave them, there are a few other reasons and sadly, some of them have to do with you.
Here are 3 painfully honest reasons why husbands leave the wives they love:
1. She consistently asks for more, better or different
This is a tough one because you may feel that you're only taking care of yourself and your needs, which is great. But when you're consistently asking your husband for more, better, and different, you're giving him the impression that he can't please you and that what he does isn't enough.
When your husband says to you, "I can't please you. I'm letting you go to find someone who can," you've touched this wound. Whether it's right or wrong, this is often the number one reason why husbands leave.
You still get to ask for what you want and say no to what you don't, but the remedy is improving your communication with him. Having healthy communication with your husband can lead to better relationship success, according to a study from 2017. And ultimately, if he can't treat you right, the breakup may be a blessing in disguise.
2. She becomes his mother
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Once you get on the road of telling him what to do, you're on your way to becoming his mother. If you've been taught that love means taking care of other people and their needs, you may find yourself picking up after him, fixing his problems, and, in extreme cases, paying his bills.
Another danger is that he may like it and he'll let you do everything for him like his mother did. You may end up with an intimacy-less relationship and he finally leaves because husbands are not turned on by their mothers. According to statistics, up to 33% of marriages lack intimacy.
3. He's incredibly immature
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Sometimes, with no effort on your part, you just inherit a husband who's still a boy. He hasn't learned (hopefully) from his mother that wives, children, animals, and the planet are not here for his gratification.
He hasn't learned to give, protect, and cherish his wife, children, animals, and the planet which is often why husbands leave you when the going gets rough. He is only interested in what feels good in the moment and instant gratification. In a nutshell, you have a (dare I say it?) Peter Pan.
I can't tell you every reason why husbands leave, but I can tell you this: We're always attracted to the right or wrong person until we learn the lesson. He who leaves first without learning the lesson repeats the lesson. And you know you've learned the lesson when you no longer want to repeat the lesson.
For your part, watch out for asking for more better or different, and see what he willingly gives. Husbands fall in love when they give. If he doesn't care about your feelings and leaves you with no explanation, he's not your husband — he's someone else's boy.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of "A Life of Love" and "Dating Advice for Alpha Women."