3 Ways To Come Out The Winner After Being Ghosted
Know your worth and show it to the world.
sergey causelove | Shutterstock Getting ghosted by someone you've been seeing can feel like a bruise to your ego and a punch to your heart. You can't help but wonder if you did something wrong to deserve that level of dismissal.
But Dr. Aria Campbell Danesh insists that being ghosted rarely has to do with you and almost always has everything to do with the other person. Instead of dwelling on the past, it might be high time to focus on the future so you can live your best life.
How to come out the winner after you've been ghosted
Here are three ways Dr. Danesh, a psychologist, suggests you do as soon as you've been ghosted. It may take a minute to feel their effects, but they will help you come out stronger in the end.
1. Don't take it personally
"Remember ghosting is a reflection of the other person's inability to handle confrontation, not your worth," explains Dr. Danesh.
This type of person doesn't want to deal with complicated emotions or learn to be vulnerable, because to be vulnerable is to be weak in their eyes. They'd much rather push their feelings to the side and run away. In the long run, this isn't great.
According to the National Library of Medicine, "Acceptance appears to act most strongly on the negative emotions experienced during stressors, and leave positive emotions experienced during stressors relatively unchanged." So, accepting those uncomfortable "negative" emotions helps us release stress and improves our overall mood.
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2. Seek closure for yourself
"You might never get the answers you want from the person who ghosted you. So write down your feelings or talk them out with a trusted friend to find your own closure," says Dr. Danesh.
Not getting closure can be painful. But in life, we don't always get the closure we want. We don't always get the respect or outcome we deserve. So having an outlet for our emotions is so important.
According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, journaling can:
- Helps you address your fears, problems, and concerns.
- Helps you identify your triggers
- Helps you be on the lookout for negative self-talk
- Helps you with your positive self-talk
3. Learn new boundaries & red flag lessons for next time
"Prioritise you. Do the things that make you feel happy and fulfilled and surround yourself with people who value you," advises Dr. Danesh.
Getting ghosted hardly puts you in the mood to socialize or joyfully hang out with your friends or loved ones. Yet, one landmark study showed that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure."
Danesh ends by saying, "Ghosting is tough but it's also an opportunity to reinforce your self-worth and set healthier boundaries in the future." So, take these hardships as a lesson and learn from them. Use them to self-improve and, who knows, maybe the right person for you is just around the corner.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.