Cassie Carli, You're Not Alone: I Was Horrifically Abused By My Ex — And Nobody Protected Me

Background: 

The family of Cassie Carli claims texts sent after her disappearance were an attempt to cover up what really happened to her.

The body of the missing Florida woman was located in a "shallow grave" in Alabama on Saturday, April 2 — a week after Carli was reported missing after not returning from a meet-up with her ex-boyfriend, Marcus Spanevelo, at Navarre Beach in Pensacola. 

Carli, 37, was found buried in a barn in Springville, Alabama. Spanevelo is reported to have ties with the property.

Spanevelo, the father of Carli's 4-year-old daughter Saylor, is being held in Tennessee on charges of tampering with evidence, giving false information concerning a missing persons investigation, and destruction of evidence, the sheriff's office said.

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I need to get something off my chest, so here is my overshare for the world to see. 

I have been chased and locked out of my own house.

I have been told I vacuumed like a hunchback.

RELATED: Life As An Abused Wife

I have been told I was undesirable because I wore big T-shirts to bed.

I have had bowls of food thrown at me while 7 months pregnant because I asked for a chip.

I have been left to clean up the bowls of food thrown at me and left alone for weeks at a time to take care of a sick infant.

I have had my car stolen so someone I loved could buy pills and beat up someone they were angry with.

I have been told our gun had to leave the house because someone no longer trusted themselves and they hated me so much they needed it out of the house only for them to say in custody court that they moved it from the house because they were scared I had postpartum depression and would kill myself.

I have had my child picked up from daycare before I had a chance to visit her — she was 15 months old — when the courts demanded I give my BABY over to her father, who was unstable and living with random men. The person intentionally waited until I arrived to visit my child and drove off with her and told me I was a psycho when I asked him to pull over so I could see her.

RELATED: How Witnessing Domestic Violence Taught Me How Truly Common It Is

I have been told there’s been a fire started somewhere in my house and good luck finding where.

I’ve been called a c*nt, a b*tch, and told that no one would ever love me because I was unbearable to be around.

I’ve been told I was too worldly and not Godly enough to deserve love and needed to learn to control my urges.

I’ve had the wall beside me punched in multiple homes while breastfeeding my infant.

I’ve had computers and TVs thrown and shattered at my feet because I complained that all someone ever did was play video games.

I have had an ex show up at my house in the middle of the night to which he didn’t have an address to-but stalked and found on Google and been told by a judge that he had a reasonable need to seek accommodations and because he didn’t hurt me-I can’t get a restraining order.

These were all different men and yet all the same man.

I’m not alone in my stories and when I fought to protect myself, I wasn’t protected.

I was ridiculed for having fallen in love with someone who would treat me that way — by society and most importantly, by the legal system.

What happened to #cassiecarli could have been prevented, if the same laws that protected her ex had protected her.

I will no longer sit quietly. 

Abuse is abuse.

I’ll say it again: Abuse is abuse, and it’s time things change and we protect the people seeking help.

RELATED: I Never Told You I Was In An Abusive Relationship Because I Didn't Know I Was

Jessica Pollard has been a fierce advocate for the “underdog” in her community for over 15 years. Her personal life experiences, coupled with her work in social work, acute care mental health, and special education, have taught her that the greatest change comes from empowering others to find their voice.