11 Subtle Signs Someone You Love Is Mentally Breaking Down
Sometimes, it may seem like nothing is wrong at all.
Josep Suria | Shutterstock People go through rough patches where they feel defeated, but when someone you care about experiences something like this, it changes everything. You may begin to notice subtle signs someone you love is mentally breaking down, and feel hopeless and unable to help them when they need support the most.
But waiting to help a loved one is never the answer; in fact, it make your concerns skyrocket. And while it can be difficult to tell at first if someone you deeply care about is struggling, it's important to pay close attention to their behaviors, noticing anything that seems unlike them.
Here are 11 subtle signs someone you love is mentally breaking down
1. They have extreme mood swings
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One of the very subtle signs someone you love is mentally breaking down is a sudden change in their mood. They may be happy one minute, and then the next are solemn and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
When we rapidly change our moods out of nowhere, it can be our body's way of telling us something is wrong internally. In fact, research from the British Journal of Psychiatry found that mood instability was extremely common in people who often had manic episodes, which could be triggered by something as simple as a stressful text message.
If you notice your loved one is having mood swings, ask them how they are feeling. They may not know why, but you can offer them a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
2. They have sudden changes in their sleep or appetite
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When someone you love has abrupt changes in their sleep schedule or eating habits, it could be a sign of a mental breakdown. Perhaps they are sleeping too much or are eating more or less than usual. Research has found that many depressed people will even overindulge to elevate their moods.
In a study from the American Journal of Psychiatry, which focused on the patterns of brain activity in individuals with depressive disorders, researchers found that depressed subjects experiencing a loss in appetite also experienced lower brain activity than those who were depressed but had a higher appetite. Those who were depressed but had a higher appetite ate more but only to re-stabilize their moods.
Whether it's sleep deprivation, over-sleeping, or drastically different eating habits, it might be beneficial to suggest they seek professional help. Otherwise, their mental and physical health will suffer.
3. They have issues with their memories
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While nobody's memory is 100% all the time, sometimes forgetting certain events, someone who is mentally breaking down will have issues remembering even the simplest things, so much so that it begins affecting the little things. For instance, if they forget basic tasks like washing dishes or putting away clothes, those things begin to pile up, and suddenly their environment looks like how they feel inside: messy and out of control.
According to clinical professor of psychiatry Samoon Ahmad, MD, the hippocampus plays a role in the recollection of episodic memories that store clusters of engrams or neurons that trace the memory. When negative or stressful information is introduced to these engrams, it can potentially affect the cognitive function of an individual.
Additional research from Trends in Neurosciences determined that depressed individuals "show poor memory for positive events, potentiated memory for negative events, and impaired recollection." And unfortunately, when someone you love is mentally breaking down, they may experience those memory issues.
4. They isolate themselves from their friends
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According to licensed professional counselor Brittney Lindstrom, someone isolating themselves from their friends and family is a sign of depression that's slowly getting worse. "I say slowly because, at first, it may seem like you are just in need of some alone time, but that alone time seems to progress into isolation from those you love and care about," she added.
Additional research from General Psychiatry found that social isolation is common for people with untreated with depression and anxiety, adding that group therapy sessions where they can interact with others is a great way to bring them out of existential and interpersonal isolation.
When your loved one starts withdrawing from family events or outings, something is likely very wrong and can indicate a mental breakdown of some sort. Suggest a conversation with them about it to see where their mind and mood are.
5. They become sensitive to certain sounds
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When people are going through a mental crisis or breakdown, they may feel overwhelmed by the situation or environment they are in. These can cause a sensory overload that makes them feel physically or emotionally uncomfortable. For some, overstimulation can occur with certain sounds that cause irritation, headaches, or even ear pain.
According to a study from Scientific Reports, noise sensitivity concerns around 20-40% of the general population, while high-noise sensitivity bothers around 12-15% of the population. These types of noises affect neurological portions of the brain and body. An additional study from the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that people who deported depressive symptoms tended to have higher sensitivity to noise, in general.
If someone you love is irritated by sounds and their mood changes when they hear those sounds, it could indicate a mental break of some sort, or underlying mental health disorders.
6. They lack enthusiasm for activities they once loved
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Another of the subtle signs someone you love is mentally breaking down is their lack of interest and enthusiasm in hobbies they once enjoyed. Perhaps they loved to paint, but now they say they have lost their inspiration. Or, maybe they liked playing sports but are instead glued to the couch watching television.
Anhedonia is a condition that refers to the loss of interests in activities that were previously enjoyable, often found in people suffering from depression, anxiety or stress. Scientific and medical writer Faith Brynie, PhD says that the areas of the brain that are associated with reward and motivation could be a factor as to why people still feel depression but not enthusiasm or satisfaction.
When your loved one lacks motivation or loses interest in the things they used to love, something just isn't right. They aren't their usual selves, but it's important you show that you care, as not getting involved could risk further isolation and discontent.
7. They feel disconnected from reality
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When someone you love is mentally breaking down, they become disconnected from the reality around them. Instead of interacting with their surroundings, they stay in their own mind, daydreaming or thinking about anything to distract them from their truth.
Known as dissociation, this is when a person feels detached from their surroundings, and usually happens when someone has gone through some stress or trauma.
Clinical health psychologist Jade Wu, PhD adds that dissociation is the brain's way of protecting the person by providing an escape during times of great stress and pain. Although this is a natural way for the brain to protect itself, it's not a permanent solution, and tapping out of reality only extends their issues.
While daydreaming or practicing mindfulness are good ways to temporarily escape from the stressors of life and treat yourself to self-care, feeling disconnected isn't a normal occurrence.
8. They have eccentric or illogical thinking
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Eccentricity is certainly not a sign of a mental health crisis, but when it becomes more than just a quirky personality trait, it's a serious concern.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, one of the indicators of mental illness is illogical thinking, described as "unusual or exaggerated beliefs about personal powers to understand meanings or influence events; illogical or ‘magical' thinking typical of childhood in an adult."
Psychiatrist Marc Lener, MD says that emotions like fear, anger, and sadness lead to irrational or illogical thinking in a person with mental health issues. Instead of thinking rationally, they let their emotions take over and consume them. But one way to combat this is to regulate your emotions.
9. They feel paranoid around other people
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One of the subtle signs someone you love is mentally breaking down is them beginning to feel paranoid. According to experts from Newport Institute, paranoia is a sign of a nervous breakdown, which they define as "believing others are watching or stalking you; inability to distinguish between what's real and imaginary."
Licensed mental health counselor Anthony D. Smith says that paranoia can appear in individuals who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can cause them to go into a state of fight or flee if they feel threatened in any way; PTSD can come from several different types of traumas that occur throughout people's lives.
Feeling fear is a natural thing, but when it's exacerbated to the point of paranoia, it's time to encourage your loved one to see professional help.
10. Their performance in work or school starts to decline
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Performances at school or at a job begin to decline when a loved one is going through a mental breakdown. While more noticeable in young children and teenagers, adults can suffer from it too. If you notice your loved one, who is usually a top performer at work or school, has suddenly been underperforming for an extended period of time, something is off.
Psychiatrist Smitha Bhandari, MD points out that constant stress at work can create conditions that lead to a nervous breakdown. If the workplace is exceptionally stressful, burnout can trigger the breakdown. As Bhandari notes, "Experiencing some stress is a normal part of life. When the feelings become too overwhelming, they can contribute to a mental breakdown."
She recommended a few things that can help, including lifestyle changes like taking a walk or exercising, taking a break, meditating, and reducing your daily obligations.
11. Their behavior is overall unusual
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You know your loved one the best. You know their personality traits, their routines, and their behaviors, so it can be jarring when you see them doing something abnormal or out of character. If you notice they simply aren't behaving as usual, it could be one of the subtle signs someone you love is mentally breaking down.
According to psychologist and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner Timothy J. Legg, "Your personality can gradually change throughout your life. Fluctuations in mood from time to time are normal. However, unusual personality changes may be a sign of a medical or mental disorder."
He continued, "A personality change can be demonstrated in a variety of ways. For example, a behavior that's inconsistent with how you would typically react under said circumstances indicates a personality change."
The best thing you can do for your loved one is not only offer emotional support, but encourage them to see professional help.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.