Mom Wonders If She’s Overreacting For Refusing To Invite In-Laws Who Called Her Daughter An ‘Oopsie Baby’ To Her Birthday
No child should be made to feel less than, especially by their own family.
Africa Studio | Shutterstock There seems to be some sort of universal law stating that in-laws just can't keep their opinions to themselves, or at least have to cause a healthy amount of family drama. That was certainly true for one woman whose mother-in-law called her four-year-old daughter “a mistake” in front of her. The appalled mother recounted the events in a Reddit post that has gained quite a bit of traction.
A mother-in-law who has always mistreated her daughter-in-law and granddaughter finally went a step too far.
In her post, the woman explained that she is 25 and her husband is 26, and they’ve been a couple for five years now. “We had our daughter pretty early on (she’s 4 now) and yeah, she wasn’t planned, but we were happy and I have no regrets at ALL,” she stated. “His family, not so much. They’ve always been kinda cold towards me and honestly, I’ve noticed that they don’t treat our daughter the same as the other grandkids.”
“Last weekend, we were at his mom’s house for a late dinner, and she and my father-in-law were talking about my husband as a teenager,” she explained. “My mother-in-law then proceeded to joke in front of my daughter saying how he used to be so carefree and go with the flow ‘before he had to settle down so fast.’”
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That was when the mother-in-law dropped the bomb that tore the family apart. “Then she added, ‘I bet he wished he had more time before jumping into the dad life with an oopsie baby,’” she recalled. “I was pissed.”
“We ended up leaving soon after that since it was getting late anyways, and that night as I tucked my daughter into bed, she asked me what an oopsie baby was,” the mom continued. “I felt heartbroken for her and basically explained that sometimes people have kids by accident, but that doesn’t make her any less special.”
The woman decided she couldn’t potentially subject her daughter to any more hurtful comments from her mother-in-law.
“After I put her to bed, I ranted to my husband, saying I don’t want his [mom] around our daughter if she’s going to be saying stuff like that,” she said. “The last thing I want is for my baby girl to be questioning whether or not she’s wanted.”
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She assumed her husband would be on her side, but that’s not exactly what happened. “I said I don’t want my [in-laws] at her fifth birthday party next month and I won’t be sending them an invite until they apologize for making things awkward,” she explained. “My husband says I’m overreacting over a small comment and I need to relax and not make this a thing. He argued saying I shouldn’t overreact [to] a comment she made when she was tired. He told me I’m not allowed to uninvite his family, especially over this.”
The mom made the decision to stick up for her daughter by refusing to invite her in-laws.
Understood, a nonprofit that supports people with learning differences, discussed the dangers of allowing your kids to be around relatives who say hurtful things. Of course, the situations are not exactly the same, but there are some commonalities. Writer Gail Belsky stated, “People often make negative comments because they’re misinformed or don’t think before they speak. But there are people who say things knowing they’re mean.”
In the latter case, it’s important to speak up. “In this case, call them out — no matter where you are,” she continued. “Do that especially if your child is around. Mean comments are a form of bullying, and your child needs to see you stand up to that.”
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By this standard, the mom was completely in the right and not overreacting at all. She was simply standing up for her daughter and ensuring she was not around family members who would say hurtful things to her.
Perhaps grandma didn't intend to hurt her granddaughter, but it certainly sounds like this family just needs a breather from a tense situation. There's no doubt the relationship can be repaired, but it will take a lot of vulnerability and open and honest communication.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
