Woman's Future Mother-In-Law Insists That She Name Her Baby After Her Own Child Who Passed Away 18 Years Ago
She called her daughter-in-law "rude" and "selfish" for refusing to consider the name.
New Africa / Shutterstock A woman is at odds with her future mother-in-law after she insisted on being involved in the name-picking process of her unborn grandchild.
The woman and her boyfriend recently discovered they were expecting their first child and her mother-in-law wants them to name their baby in honor of her own. However, the woman admitted that she is not a fan of her mother-in-law's name of choice, and wonders if she is wrong to not even consider it.
The woman’s mother-in-law insisted that the couple name their baby after her own newborn who passed away 18 years ago.
Sharing her story to the AITA subreddit, the 20-year-old woman revealed that she and her 20-year-old boyfriend have been dating for two years. They recently found out they were expecting their first child.
“We found out not that long ago that we were expecting a girl,” the woman wrote. “My boyfriend’s mother has always wanted a granddaughter as she had two boys and my boyfriend's brother doesn’t want kids, period.” However, the woman and her boyfriend decided to keep their baby’s gender to themselves until her birth.
One night, they went out to dinner with her boyfriend’s parents, and the baby inevitably came up in conversation. “My boyfriend’s mother kept asking what the gender was to be able to decide a name,” the woman shared. “We explained that we wouldn’t be announcing the gender until birth. She kept insisting we tell her as she needed to help with the name-picking process.”
The woman and her boyfriend informed his mother that, as the baby's parents, they would be the only ones to decide their baby’s name.
Photo: wavebreakmedia / Shutterstock
However, if the baby was a boy, they shared that his middle name would be “Scott” after the woman’s father who died of cancer when she was 13. This, apparently, bothered her mother-in-law.
“My future mother-in-law stated that if I get to name the [expletive] baby after him, then the girl’s name should be McKenna,’” the woman wrote. “My boyfriend’s mother was pregnant around 18 years ago and lost the baby during childbirth. The baby would’ve been a girl and she was going to be named McKenna.”
While the woman acknowledged the heartbreaking story and feels for her mother-in-law, she does not plan to name her daughter McKenna.
“I dislike the name, no offense, and my boyfriend had no connection with the baby. He was too young to even know what happened,” she explained. “Regardless of my opinion, if my boyfriend wanted to name our child after one of his loved ones, he could’ve stated that. But he hasn’t.”
The woman’s mother-in-law insisted that the mom-to-be was being "rude" and "selfish" for not even considering the name McKenna. She argued that her late daughter deserved to be honored as much as the woman’s father.
Thankfully, the woman's boyfriend stood up for her, asserting that comparing the baby sister whom he never knew, to the man who raised his girlfriend was "ridiculous."
“I was very close with my father. He was sick for years and I even had to watch him die, so naming a son after him would be him living on. He passed at 38, so it’s to honor him,” the woman wrote. “My boyfriend never even knew his mother was pregnant until after everything because he was so young and the name McKenna had never even been brought up in their household until now.”
Photo: Kseniya Ivanova / Shutterstock
The woman asked Reddit users if she was truly being selfish and in the wrong for refusing to honor her mother-in-law’s request and name her daughter McKenna.
Most believed the woman was not acting selfishly and had the right to name her baby without the influence of her mother-in-law.
“Mother-in-law needs to be reminded that this is NOT her child! She has no entitlement to baby girl or any of the decisions either,” one Redditor commented. “This is your child. The only opinions who matter are you and your boyfriend," another commenter wrote. "Mother-in-law needs to back off.”
"Straight up tell her no. Do not budge. Prepare for her to try to insert herself into everything," a third user advised. "Do not tell her the baby has arrived until the ink is dry on the birth certificate. Thankfully your boyfriend seems to know how to say no to his mom."
While what happened to the woman’s mother-in-law was a tragedy no parent deserves to endure, it does not give her the right to insist that her granddaughter be named after her baby. She could benefit from seeking professional help to work on her grief and coping skills.
Naming a child is a deeply personal decision that reflects the parents' cultural background, beliefs, and preferences. While input from family members or friends may be welcomed or considered, the final decision about a baby's name rightfully belongs to the parents.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.